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SHE'S A SHE WOLF Obviously, I'm talking about Brandi's vest, not Ms. Glanville herself. I'm not a monster!
Camille's until-now mystery boyfriend, Dmitri, showed up to the event, which gave the women an opportunity to ogle his bod. Kyle wished he'd worn a shirt that flaunted his abs, while Camille snarked in her confessional that he has her ex, Kelsey, beat by eight inches, which came across as demeaning to both her ex-husband and new boyfriend. Great work, lady! It was a weird hour for men.
Perhaps that's why it was so refreshing to see lovely Lisa at the hospital, all nervous and holding hands with her dear husband, Ken, just before his hip replacement surgery. The Vanderpumps may constantly joke about their lack of a sex life and tease one another, but when push comes to shove, there's an obviously real love there. Pandora and her camera-shy brother, Max, stopped by to wish their dad the best, and he got rolled off into surgery. A few hours later, all had gone well, and Lisa greeted her man in the recovery room, where she tested the feeling in the lower half of his body with a quick round of the "Nervous?" game, which was thwarted by the powerful after-effects of his anesthesia. Lisa was thrilled with the success of the surgery, but now, she just had to worry about Ken's supermodel nurse being in the same room as her hubby. "He's going to wake up and think he's died!" she joked.
Things weren't so lovey-dovey at Mauricio's event. Kim, bless her, decided she needed to tell Adrienne and Paul about The Lie That Must Not Be Named, which sent the couple into a fury. "I want to slam this person," said Paul, with barely-contained aggression. "That's defamatory," chirped Adrienne, wagging a finger. "That's a a lawsuit." The Maloofs immediately approached Brandi, and the whole episode devolved into a shouting match from there. Adrienne and Paul called her a "bitch" repeatedly with a level of vitriol so high, it makes me think that whatever Brandi said must have been true. Brandi, meanwhile, kept playing dumb about what she'd said and tried to change the subject to how offensive the word "bitch" was, which makes me think she actually felt bad about blurting out a Maloof family secret. Kyle, meanwhile, pretended to be frustrated that this was all happening at Mauricio's event, though I'm betting that later that night, she went out to dinner with him at some fancy restaurant, where she winked across the table and said, "I told you I could get your agency on TV."
Next week: The aftermath of Brandi-gate, and the return of "the morally corrupt Faye Resnick!"
So, talk to me readers: What the heck did Brandi say? Did Adrienne and Paul doth protest too much? Are Lisa and Ken totally the stars of this show? And were the lips actually bigger than ever this week, or am I going crazy? Answer all this and more in the comments, and please go easy on me. I'm more fragile than Taylor and Kim put together. Also, I can't say I tweet about Real Housewives very often, but if you want to follow me on Twitter, go right ahead!