Carlton got a tattoo. Carlton's well-behaved girls saved a spider. There's such a thing as an on-the-ground trampoline. I want one. The end.
Brandi and Yolanda reconvened in matching outfits to discuss the SUR debacle. Brandi started in on her Hey you come at me, I'll come at you twice as hard trip but Yolanda wasn't interested. While somehow managing to be genuinely loving, Yolanda told Brandi her behavior was both "not charming" and "embarrassing." It was rather odd to see an actual act of true, tough friendship on this fakefest of a production. Another fine moment of a grounded exchange was when Brandi filled in her black friend Etirsa with her "black people don't swim" comment to Joyce. Etirsa really wasn't as amused as Brandi assumed she would be: "I got to say, kind of dumb to say in front of people, especially that you don't know." Preach.
Meanwhile Joyce and Kyle had met for a ridiculously lame "activity shoot" on the golf course and Joyce rather succinctly broke down Brandi's tired routine: Go on the attack (ie., "We have a lot of mutual friends...they don't speak highly of you"). Firehose of curse words (ie., shut the f--- up). Play the victim (ie., "I miss my puppy"). No wonder Brandi doesn't have a man, said Joyce. Yikes. This beauty queen comes to play.
Cut to Kyle galumphing around her store in her too-high heels prepping for the charity fashion show. Her 13-year-old Sophia was feeling very awkward about having to walk the runway so Kyle just summoned her mother's cattle iron that made her a child star and willed the girl out there. Jamie Lee Curtis looked pretty miserable to find herself in a Real Housewives scene but it was for a good cause. And whether it was to negate the rumors Kyle and Mauricio had been fielding in the tabloids, or to make her look good on TV, or because giving is one of the only true pleasures of an abundant life, bravo to their $100,000 donation to the Children's Hospital of Los Angeles. Even Carlton's breasts had to clap in appreciation of their generous act. Not that Carlton continues to have anything but disdain for Kyle, mind you.
In the end Lisa summoned Joyce to Villa Rosa. And Joyce continued to assert her right not to be called Jacqueline. You could sense in their pleasant but firm exchange Lisa's realization that this beauty queen was more than just a hair-flipper. Also, how right is it that this oft-mentioned mutual friend of Brandi and Joyce's is named Krystal. I mean, of course she is.
Pretty dullsville, right friends? Call me nuts but I kind of like Joyce.