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WAIT Y'ALL, WHERE'S MARISA? Hall pass.
Quick rehash: Adrienne a coward and a rat. Brandi just fights back is all. Yolanda accuses the women of not properly welcoming her into their group and doesn't necessarily believe sexuality is a choice. Taylor only drinks when she's happy now and is totally in love. "Brandi, what did you think of Taylor dating a married man?" pressed Andy. It took me 43 minutes before I realized that Marisa wasn't there. Poor Marisa. At one point Andy asked the women if they'd like to meet the new Housewife. Everyone said yes and we all waited for LeAnn Rimes to strut onto the set in her little black leather shorts. Pscyh! giggled Andy. Lame.
Back to bitchery: Lisa accused Kyle of aligning herself with Adrienne to benefit her bank account and similarly cooling on their own friendship once Mauricio had his commission in pocket. Yikes, Lisa, them some harsh words. Yes Kyle feels replaced by Brandi but Brandi said she doesn't talk smack behind her friends' back. Oh yeah, well Yolanda totally crapped on Lisa in Paris. Yolanda denied this, even though we all know it was kinda true. "YO-landa!" screamed Kim. "YO-lan-da!" Kyle rightly pointed out for someone who says she only talks about people to their faces Yolanda's blogs, which were stellar, often dripped with insult for her fellow Housewives. "My blogs are my opinions," said Yolanda.
Friends, my recaps are my opinions.
Next week: Lisa chooses Yolanda's version of the truth over Kyle's. Mauricio shows up to give his two cents on the season: "Amazing."