The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap: Puerto in the Storm

In Puerto Rico, Brandi accuses Lisa of betraying Mauricio and Kyle. We're going to need some more coconut rum punch.
Ep. 17 | Aired Feb 24, 2014

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH Lisa's on the defensive and could really use a ciggie.


Yolanda went back over to try and force Lisa to fess up but Ken wasn't having it. Yolanda balked at him butting into women's business. "I'm having a conversation with your wife, she's 55 some years old..." she said, in the most delicious exchange of the evening. "I'm 52!" Lisa cried huffily. Then Kim and Kyle sat down on the chaise, demanding answers. Did she try and pack the tabloid, yes or no? No matter how much a fan you are of Lisa, it's hard to deny that the woman refused to answer the question directly. She's not sure when she saw a tabloid. She never bought one, that's for sure. Where were the tabloids? Why must people bore her with this conversation. Ken, who's long been a staunch defender of Mauricio, even when Lisa cagily left the window open for his guilt, clearly is in the dark. He believes Lisa did no such thing so why won't all these women get off her lovely back? It seemed like Lisa wanted him to let it go already because she knows she may have actually done a boo boo by trusting Brandi.

On the bus to dinner that evening, Lisa confronted her former chickadee."Brandi, I don't understand what's going on," she said. "Ask Scheana," said Brandi.  Lisa looked confused, if again a little evasive. Was Scheana ever in the audience of Dancing with the Stars or wasn't she? demanded Brandi. (If you were wondering what the world's most ridiculous, low-stakes question was we now have our answer!) Brandi challenged Lisa to a lie detector test, which I for one would love to see on the typically baggy Part 2 of the Reunion. "I'm glad you're capitalizing off of my heartbreak," said Brandi. At dinner, Lisa whispered what appeared to be a genuinely vulnerable declaration of love into Brandi's ear but maybe it was just an effort to shut the woman up. Who knows? Who cares? Mauricio does! Because he for one would like to know who his friends are once and for all. We do know for certain that Kim and Ken are not friends. "I'm tired of your mouth!" she squawked. "You're a big stubborn old man." Then Kyle looked ready to hide under the table when Kim turned the conversation from the tabloids to fricking Wisconsin again. Kim, move on!

Ken had had enough by this point. You know the truth, you know the truth and you know the truth! he shouted as they left the restaurant. Wait, I don't know the truth! "Here's to us, we're always together," said Ken. And the most glamorous couple in the world toasted their spotty glasses of  Minibar wine with a pack of Marlboro Lights on some metal balcony chairs. I love your loyalty Ken, but I'm not sure you know the whole story.

Next week: Ugh, Carlton.

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