'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap: Poker Faces

Bravo really needs to do Taylor a solid and stop directly cutting from scenes of Kyle and Mauricio's enviable partnership to the fun snatch that is her grim union with Russell. As the thick-haired (in some places, at least) brunette wonders biked the hills of Napa, Mauricio never leaving his wheezing wife's side, telling her this was the happiest day of his life, Taylor and Russell endured a much more exhausting car ride together. Many of you have inexplicably declared yourself Team Russell, giving the guy points for once trying to make Kennedy a microwave dinner. I don't buy it: That guy's got Texas jerky for a heart. Loosen up dude! Laugh a little, find Snoball a sneeze-free home, eat an enchilada and don't worry when the sour cream glops down on your trusted black shirt.

Taylor has some "tough memories" and she could have really used her husband's arm around her bony shoulder. We learned last night that Taylor's charity of choice is a crisis center that offers a safe haven for women and children fleeing from domestic abuse. To raise money for this worthy cause, Taylor helped organize a poker event attended by that old meanie Annie Duke and various "famous people" like Kato Kaelin and Jan Brady. (Points to Jan for whining "Taylor, Taylor, Taylor!" as our Housewife posed on the red carpet.) Adrienne and Paul were there, dressed up for a gay rodeo with a double dose of glitter paint in her extensions. Taylor was really nervous about giving such a personal speech but she felt that opening up about those tough Okie memories was the right thing to do.

Now I hated to see the woman cry, and am of course sorry for any pain she or her mother endured. But I'm not sure that the mention of blue-footed pajamas equals sharing one's story. That's a tacky quibble though, and after Russell's mean-spirited, badly-timed grousing in the car that his wife really should have planned her charity event on another weekend because half of his friends were traveling and it's just all so terribly unfortunate, I was just grateful to detect the slightest tremor of tenderness in his face as he listened to his wife on stage. Did that quiver of affection pass through his rigid temples or am I projecting again?

Cut to Kyle and Mauricio who look they always want to give each other a high-five or french kiss like teenagers. They are the most natural, affectionate, committed couple I think we've ever seen in Housewives history. (Sad cut to Camille Grammer: "My husband feels that his marriage career in LA is over and that Kayte New York loves him and he told me that he feels appreciated there.") Over a romantic dinner Kyle confessed she wanted another baby and I think Mauricio might have resisted but honestly I don't really know because the candle was making his eyes twinkle and he was wearing a nice jacket. So nice that I choose to forget the fact that he may have uttered the words "tap off the wiener." And Kyle is so cute with him, and sounded so much like me on my last long bike ride, huffing and swearing and willing herself dead, that I will forgive her for going Giudice on us for a second with that dopey "happy wife, happy life" line.

NEXT: Run, Single Gary!