'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap: Middle-aged whipperflappers

Consider last week's episode, and the unholy appearance of Allison Dubois, your real Christmas present. Because last night's hour was a tame one, full of faux conflict resolution. My favorite scene of the night was a throwaway, but it wrapped in a bow the ridiculata of the Housewives brand. Kim wanted to make up with Taylor, what with having hollered about her blowfish lips at Camille's dinner party. So she reached out and invited her for an ice cream manicure. I know not what this entails, though I guarantee it doesn't involve Taylor ingesting anything caloric. The two women lounged on their cushions, as women pampered their cuticles, and Taylor gifted Kim with an invitation to her Roaring 20s party. "Am I a last minute invitation because you were debating whether or not you were going to invite me?" Kim wondered. Taylor looked at her with a benign smile."Ha ha ha!" she cried, before her face drained of mirth. "Yes. Actually yes."

Adrienne continues to exhibit a good sense that is foreign to this show, though the Maloof record label did call it into question. The fracas at Camille's party alternately left her bored and mystified. "When you've got little kids fighting all the time it wasn't a big deal to me," she explained to Paul, whose nose seems to have made a miraculous recovery. "What was I supposed to do, put them in time-outs?" But then she made the crucial mistake of joining Camille for a salad date.

Camille had already flexed her husband's—Emmy and Tony-award winning, yes we know, we know, up here down there, pecking order schmecking order—muscle by texting Kyle that Mauricio was fired. (Cut to Kelsey, who was at that moment emailing Mauricio that he was in the market for a love shack in the Hollywood Hills. No, too mean.) Camille trashed Kyle on a loop, while Adrienne went to her happy place. Adrienne joked about sending both women to time-outs and Camille's face froze, shocked that Adrienne would dare suggest she bore any responsibility. Finally Adrienne had had enough. "Um, you know," she said, struggling to come up with an excuse to flee the table, "I have to go pick up my son." Run Adrienne!

The bulk of the hour involved watching the women prep for the Roaring 20s party. Lots of beaded dresses and fringe and red lipstick. Pretty, but snooze. Lisa, who'd dressed Cedric down earlier for failing to show up when she snapped, ordered that he go as the gun moll to her mafioso. If he's going to live in her house and drive her car then he better be cool about putting on a dress. Nice legs, Ced! Give it up for Taylor who looked exceptionally cute. Russell looked.... well, Russell is stuck looking like Russell. Phone to his ear, constipated grin on his face. Taylor submitted to his quick, dry kisses on her cheeks and then happily turned to her guests. ("We're getting more cheek than your husband," one of the men rightly observed.)

NEXT: Camille and Kyle rub butts