Image credit: Nadine Hutton/Bravo
TAKE IT AWAY LYDIA: "Oooh, this DOES feel like foreskin!!"
In a most confusing evening, the ladies take a break from fighting and brand-hawking to get a true taste of South Africa.| Published Feb 13, 2012
The episode opened back in the lion's den. Marlo and Sheree were still bumping chests, accusing each other of being chumps. Are town homes and spare air mattresses truly signs of personal failure in their world? Poor, bemused Phaedra just sat there patiently on the foyer table, waiting for a break in the conversation so she could call first shower. NeNe risked getting in the middle of the two jabbering hyenas, and appeared genuinely mystified by the fracas. "Is this how I've looked in an argument?" she wondered. (Yes honey, though your tiffs always held an additional threat of physical violence.) She managed to separate the women and, without spilling a drop of her vodka-soaked OJ, calmly broke down Marlo's beef with Sheree. She lugged Marlo back up the stairs, while Phaedra, who'd checked back into the conversation, tootled after the ladies. "You all going to Nobu? Y'all still want us to come by, is that okay?"
Party bus! Sheree, looking remarkably unruffled, assured the Smalls that she was still intent on having a great time in South Africa. So off to the coveted dinner party they went, where her friend Kevin had hired an African drummer to welcome the ladies. Phaedra pretended to admire the man's bicep feathers as opposed to his muscles. Outside a nerdy-looking white man impressed the guests with some fire baton light saber moves. The Smalls looked enchanted until the end when they looked warily at the sparkler cinders flying dangerously close to their hair. At dinner, Kandi sat next to a very handsome gentleman from Botswana. Would the dinner end with a helping of Kandi Koated dessert? He was beautiful and so accomplished—a model, an actor, and an up-and-coming music producer. And by that he meant that sometimes he liked to crack jokes and wink at himself in the mirror above the bar where he worked on Tuesday nights. Kandi Koated buzz kill.
At Nobu, NeNe tottered down some stairs in eight-inch heels. Duck, diners! At the table Cynthia looked like she wanted to drive one of those heels into Marlo's cold heart. When the woman excused herself to the bathroom Cynthia and NeNe broke the argument down. "The f-word is not a nice word, you don't use that word," Cynthia rightfully said. "And I know Marlo has quite a few gay guys in her camp so I was surprised that she went there." If nothing else, the drama provided NeNe with a long overdue A-ha moment. "It always just looks so ugly when we be grown-ass women and we gonna jump off the high-rise," she said. "I was like looking at myself." Check, and check.
Marlo returned from the loo and failed to acknowledge that she'd taken the argument to a level it should never go. She seemed downright smug about supposedly standing up to Sheree. "Baby you better Google me and check my charges," she said, which made Cynthia wince and NeNe giggle. Off to the club they went, with NeNe encouraging the Talls to order bottles and charge them to Sheree's tab. "Okay so we can go get arrested in Africa," said Marlo, "with the credit card being declined." NeNe was in heaven.
NEXT: Kandi and Phaedra pocket some fun money.