The Real Housewives of Atlanta recap: Character Flaw: Everything

The third and final installment of the RHOA Reunion features a surprise two-hour run time, a special reading of Kenya by Phaedra's, and a lot of Nene screaming...a lot of screaming
Ep. 25 | Aired May 4, 2014

Wilford Harewood/Bravo

Kandi brings up that Nene was disrespectful to Mama Joyce in a blog she wrote about why she ran away from fighting with Marlo at the Bailey Bowl. Nene mostly only spoke to facts, for example, that Mama Joyce tried to end Carmon’s life with a shoe; but Kandi thinks it’s disrespectful for her to bring up her mother in a blog, and that Nene always does things she doesn’t like other people to do to her. Nene immediately brings out her favorite defense, “THAT’S HOW I FELT.” Every time Nene is in a position where she should apologize and she can’t bring herself to do it I think of that playground urban legend where the girl wears a ribbon around her neck her whole life, and if she every removes it (Spoiler Alert) her head will fall off. I truly believe that if the words “I’m sorry” came out of Nene’s vocal chords with any sort of sincerity, her tongue would just fall right out of her mouth

You might expect the spotlight to move off Nene and Kenya a little at this point, but we’re actually only 10 minutes in. It just feels like a lifetime because hell is an infinite loop of Nene screaming, “I SAYED WHAT I SAYED!” in her bellow-iest baritone. We’re treated to a flashback of Nene’s behavior at the charity event Kenya threw in her honor without telling her, and Nene announces that she apologized on her Bravo blog, but only because she doesn’t want young girls falling prey to “sheep in wolf clothing.” Am I not doing my due diligence by not reading these Bravo blogs? Because I will quit; I’m not reading a blog written by a woman who doesn’t know how to use the "possessive 's."

This unfortunate retread does bring to light an interesting tidbit from Andy that the charity Kenya threw the function for said they didn’t receive a donation from the proceeds she supposedly raised. Kenya says she wasn’t responsible for getting them the donations, which...seems incorrect. And that’s when Nene gets her most evil and charitable idea yet: she tells Kenya she’ll donate $20K to the charity of her choice if Kenya will match it. I don’t know if Kenya doesn’t have $20K in quarters rolling around in her purse or if she just doesn’t want to play Nene’s games, but she hesitates for about five minutes before agreeing. Kandi has pulled out her phone to start texting, Phaedra is thinking about embalming bodies, and Cynthia is making the face she probably makes when she has to have sex with Peter, because listening to Nene and Kenya scream at each other is about that interesting.

A video package of Cynthia dealing with fibroids and her insensitive husband plays and she looks like she would rather have fibroids again than talk about this. When asked about being left in the dark by Peter all the time she basically says, "Yes that is a problem; no, there is no solution." And just in case you thought she was just being private about their relationship, she offers up without provocation: “I’m really grateful that he didn’t go and have sex with someone else because I almost couldn’t really be mad at him.” Cynthia. CYNTHIA. What has this man convinced you of? It might be the saddest thing ever uttered on that stage, and that includes a solid 15 minutes with Apollo trying to sound smart coming up later. You’re worth more than your ability to have sex with your terrible husband, Cynthia.

NEXT: Speaking of terrible husbands...

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