Here comes the beginning of the end: the compilation of Kenya’s season 6 storyline, which is just a lot of talk about her “African Prince,” and then an immediate cut to the Velvet tragedy. I still can’t figure out what the editors are trying to make us feel there. I find it very difficult to go from feeling perfectly comfortable mocking Kenya for her fake boyfriend to suddenly knowing that I'm supposed to feel sympathy for her. But I imagine it’s also difficult for her to go from denying calling other cast members fat, to calling other cast members fat, to being called a whore, to calling someone else a hoe, to then to mourning her dog. After a little awkward Velvet talk, Andy says he wants to talk about the African Prince some more, and finally, everyone emerges from their haze. This is something they can talk about with some passion! Phaedra immediately pipes in, “Oh, you mean Casper the Friendly Boyfriend?” Phaedra said a few ugly things during this reunion, but the girl sure can turn a nickname (I just prefer when they don’t have “whore” in them).
Kenya says that she and the African Prince are still dating, and she just saw him three weeks ago. She says that some people there have even met him and I swear, at the exact same time, everyone dons those fake glasses-and-mustache sets and tries to disappear into their seats. Andy turns on Nene, who is practically in his lap already in her attempt to stay away from Kandi, to remind her that she’s the only one who’s met the supposed African Prince, to which she immediately snaps, “That’s not true.” Kenya has her magical iPhone of not-real text messages out and is squealing “I’ll just pull up the text messages,” before Andy ever even gets through the original question. Shockingly, those text messages are never pulled up. Nene says that Kenya is referencing a time in L.A. when she and her friend were exiting a hotel, a man approached them in the dark and kept saying something in an accent that ended with “…across the street.” They got away from him quickly and Kenya called shortly after to ask why they were so rude to her boyfriend. They asked who she was talking about and she told them he just talked to them and was driving a black Ferrari…to which Nene said, they were driving the black Ferrari.
It makes as much sense here as it did in its retelling from both Nene and Kenya. I believe that Nene would have plenty of reasons to hate Kenya and want to make her seem dumb – you may have noticed this entire recap is about Kenya, a spot formerly held by Nene Leakes/Martha Washington, herself – but I am 100% certain that woman has never once dated an African prince, person or pauper. And having some man with an indiscernible accent approach Nene on the street alone to tell her that “Kenya Moore is across the street” sounds right up Kenya Moore’s alley. Especially considering Porsha’s story that Kenya tried to pay an African singer $15K to come on the show and say he was her Prince. This earned Porsha her first scepter to the face, and brought on Kenya’s second prop, a bullhorn, which she had not yet put the batteries in upon presenting it to the group like a newborn Simba. The line of the night has to go to Kandi: “If you’re going to have props, you got to at least have it together, now.”
Next: Porsha makes her move...it ain't pretty.