Noelle’s father has dropped by to see Cynthia because he’s also heard about the infamous Arthur. He tells Noelle and Cynthia he wants to meet him, which I get because, really, if you heard about a 13-year-old kid named Arthur, wouldn’t you want to meet him too? When Noelle leaves the room, he tells Cynthia that if Noelle needs to talk to someone about sex, who better than him? And the woman who recently made a blow job joke in front of her 13-year-old daughter screams, “Me!” Noelle, might I suggest a third party, like a guidance counselor, or an aunt, or a nearby lamppost?
Porsha has made it out of the hospital but is wandering around a CVS in sunglasses to make it clear she’s in a vulnerable state. She says after she passed out and woke up, she “literally was scared and confused out of her mind.” That is not a Porsha I want to see (or hear). The doctor told her she has a “condition” where she doesn't get enough blood flow to her brain, which sounds about right. Nene calls to invite her to Savannah and she answers the call on speakerphone. Inside CVS. Reality TV speakerphone calls are a menace to society. You're telling me I can deposit checks on my phone, but there's not a better way to record the person on the other line? Porsha tells Nene she could use some relaxation in Savannah and Nene says ominously: “Well, we probably won’t all relax.”
After some pretty 21st century stuff with Kenya talking to her aunt about having a baby without having to find the right man first, the moment I’ve been dreading has arrived: Kandi is going to look at wedding dresses, accompanied by her friends, Carmon and Kwame. Kwame is a sensible man who asks, “Well, aren’t they getting a prenup?” when Carmon tells him about Mama Joyce’s “opportunist” accusations against Todd. Oh Kwame; sweet, innocent Kwame. Mama Joyce stomps into the bridal shop with Kandi’s two aunts and immediately says “she ain’t gon’ wear it no way” when Kwame tries to start a conversation about their current activity, dress shopping.
Carmon can’t understand why she would say something like that and Mama Joyce goes on to insinuate that she’s sleeping with Todd right to her face. Now, sure, Carmon could have just let this roll off her back and looked at Kandi in a few wedding dresses while her mother spewed vitriol at everyone in her path. But Carmon has likely been dealing with this woman for years and she also strikes me as the type to not take no stuff from nobody, so she gets reasonably angry. Less reasonable is Mama Joyce, who springs up to, I guess, start a fight in the middle of a bridal shop.
NEXT: Say yes to the drama...