Over at the Nida-Parks’ Furniture-less House of Silent Treatments, the most important development is that Phaedra’s infant son is now officially being titled “Mr. President, 3 months old” by the Bravo network. But also, Phaedra just passed her embalming tests in Alabama and she's now “one step closer to burying all of the world’s dead,” she says with much pizazz.
But her formaldehyde-fueled pleasure can only last so long because Apollo is here with a half-assed apology. He tells Phaedra he’s sorry “because we haven’t talked in a few days and I can see you’re still pissed off.” Nope, not going to cut it. Phaedra still needs Apollo to admit that the texting with Kenya was inappropriate and any ties with her moving forward would be inappropriate. He finally (sort of) ponies up and tells Phaedra he respects that she feels that way because she’s his wife. Phaedra wraps a tentative bow on this storyline with that ole Kardashian classic -- “at the end of the day,” she trusts her husband. They end it all with a sweet hug and then, of course, Apollo asks if Phaedra remembers when they used to have sex over the sink in the bathroom and the camera pans over to Mr. President in his swinging chair. I hope the RHOA editors are clearing out some shelf space for their Emmys this year.
Next up, we’re treated to a Real Housewives staple: unorthodox group exercise! Everyone is coming to the Kandi Factory for “Cardio Cabaret,” but not before prepping for their cardiovascular workout with some champagne. Phaedra enters wearing the latest from Lululemon’s S&M collection and informs everyone that she made straight Bs (plus a C in Chemistry) on her mortuary exams. I’m actually a little disappointed; I assumed Phaedra was a Rachel Berry all-As-and-gold-stars type. But I guess Rachel Berry doesn't have two kids and a law practice. Nene and Kenya come in together and Kenya treads so lightly around these women who merely tolerate her right now, I almost didn’t notice she was there. Not taking that risk, however, is Cynthia, who looks like a damn disco ball in a head-to-toe sequined outfit. It’s really something.
The gang’s all here (with guests), except Porsha, who Nene casually informs us is the hospital. She calls Porsha’s sister to check on her and says “Hey, it’s Nene,” but what she really means is, “Hey, it’s Nene and 18 other people on speakerphone, some of whom don’t even know your sister, calling to check on the very personal details of her health.” Once Nene feels they’ve done their due diligence and Porsha isn’t dying, she gets down to business: proposed girls trip to Savannah! It’s awkward when they propose these types of things in front of a lot of people who won’t be invited, but I guess those are just the kinds of barbs you accept when you’re a Real Housewives outlier.
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