The Real Housewives of Atlanta recap: Winner, Winner, Awkward Dinner

On tap this week: terrible husbands, fix-it-yourself Nene, and clueless Kenya
Ep. 02 | Aired Nov 10, 2013

TAKE THAT, TANYA! Kenya wins in court and loses at everything else.


That’s enough medical drama, it’s time for pointless drama at a dinner that no one wants to go to in a restaurant that looks suspiciously like the Bravo reunion shows’ set. Kenya wants to get one thing straight: Even though she said it explicitly in a previously recorded television program, she never implied that Apollo sent her inappropriate texts. She just meant he had sent her “friendly” texts, like, “Hey girl, you catch the Falcons game?” or “Heard you were sick, hope you’re feeling better” or “Whaddup, want to have sex with me and keep it a secret from my wife?” Oh wait, no, scratch that last one.

Everyone calls her on her bluff and, most confusingly, Porsha takes this time for *Porsha’s Allotted Yelling Hour* to scream, “I don’t have time for this, I’m going through a g-d divorce!” I mean, I guess? Phaedra stays very calm throughout all of this, finally saying that for her, it’s not about the texts, it’s about the AIDS accusation. I'm sorry, what?

Nene speaks for all of us when she screams, “AIDS?!” Kenya tries again to act like she didn’t imply in the reunion show that Apollo was an STD-ridden monster after returning from prison, but finally she admits that it was an argument between both of them and she got a little worked up. And everyone knows when you’re worked up, the AIDS accusations, they start flying. Phaedra very reasonably says that she can be mature and tolerate Kenya when they’re all together, but she’s not going to have a personal relationship with her.

Porsha looks a little disappointed that everything has been resolved because she had a couple more non-sequiturs and wanted to scream, but ultimately everyone is happy they had this laid-back little chat. Nene gives herself a pat on the back for organizing, saying, “I don’t know what we got accomplished but it was a lot” -- which is actually exactly how I feel after watching this show.

In other “not accomplishing a lot” news, Kandi takes a visit to her old house, which is now her mom’s house, because Kandi hands out houses like they’re extra granola bars in her purse. Kandi’s mom is being completely unreasonable about Todd. She says that Todd needs to be a provider for Kandi and she thinks he’s taking advantage of Kandi’s money. It would be pretty hard to make more money than Kandi and Todd seemingly has a perfectly good job and pays the monthly bills for their house. Kandi’s mom screams “You paid for that house!” while she stands in another house that Kandi also paid for. If every person who Kandi bought a house was taking advantage of her, she’d be in a real pickle.

Finally, the last straw: Kandi’s mom says Todd should have gotten her a better engagement ring and Kandi breaks down. It’s pretty heartbreaking watching her mom not be able to understand what makes her happy. She chose her ring because she liked it and she chose the man she’s marrying because she loves him. And if she ever starts to look pregnant when she’s not, he probably won’t call her fat or mock her sex drive or buy a building without her consent. Because Todd seems like a nice guy and Mama Joyce needs to wise up and let her very smart daughter make her own decisions. End rant.

Most Valuable Housewife: Nene, for arranging the least fun dinner I’ve ever witnessed.

Best Line: “Karma has a name and that name is bitch, and it’s gon’ bite him in that big bubble butt.” – Porsha talking about Kordell, shortly after stealing her mom’s master bedroom.

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