Kandi and Phaedra, Atlanta’s Bert and Ernie, visit Porsha in her new 8,000 square-foot house and *CUTE ALERT* Phaedra brings Mr. President. He is the third most mature person in the room. When the other women question why Porsha would want to live so far out and in such a big house -- AKA, spending money she doesn’t have -- she responds, “This is motivation, is what this is.” NO. No, Porsha! Buying (rent-to-buy, whatever) a house that you can’t afford to inspire yourself to be fabulous sounds like a Peter Thomas business plan if I've ever heard one, and Cynthia informed us exactly how those work out last week: non-fabulously. I’d also recommend listening to Kandi and Phaedra, who are two pretty successful women.
Finally, Cynthia gets everyone together at The Bailey Agency School of Fashion and Impending Bankruptcy to help Mal sell some beads. I am all in on it, if only to show just how rough the area of town is that Peter made Cynthia move her school to. Everyone manages to show up on time and has to bang on the barred window just to get inside. Where IS this place? Kenya storms in wearing a very confusing outfit, with a freakishly positive attitude about meeting Mal. Perhaps she can sense a fellow crazy. That excitement quickly goes south when it comes up that Mal arrived for two months, unannounced. Kenya gets sassy and opinionated, eliciting a “stay out of it” from Mal, but Phaedra, of course, puts it best: “Family and house guests are just like fish. After three days, they all need to be thrown out.”
Porsha goes girl to girl, asking everyone to keep it a secret that she’s moved into Nene’s neighborhood. I don’t know why she wouldn’t have told Nene yet, but it’s obvious that Porsha both knows she’s probably done something bad and is scared of the response she’ll get. You know, like a child. The moment Nene arrives, Kenya stomps over and drops in a conversational “Oh, were you guys talking about Porsha moving into Nene’s neighborhood?” And just twirls away. Was she high? She was being an insufferable instigator at that party.
Unless something else is going on behind the scenes, Nene overreacts a little bit, calling out Porsha as a bad friend again in public. Sure, it doesn’t make a lot of sense that she didn’t tell Nene she was her neighbor once she moved in, but she probably has her reasons. Actually, she probably doesn't have any reasons, because I think it’s just a bunch of loose crayons up there, but the same way Nene is always saying the “kind of friend” she is, she has to know by now the kind of friend Porsha is. Nene does at least come around (after a heavy dose of breakdown from Porsha) to say that she’s not that mad, she just knows that Porsha can be better. Yeah, we’ll see.