Cynthia and Malorie swing by the Bailey Agency School of Fashion (and Maybe Money Laundering) *Small “Business” Count: 4* so that Cynthia can show her sister, who already hates her husband, the Mercedes that he bought without consulting her. When Peter shows up, giving his sister-in-law a low five in greeting, Cynthia tells him that Mal will be staying with them for two months without consulting him in private first. Because strong marriages are built on communication and a mutual misunderstanding of common courtesy.
In a Range Rover barreling down I-20, Nene, Phaedra and That Dude Chuck are all headed to the Boys and Girls Club of Athens. I kind of wish the whole episode had just been Phaedra listing her high school jobs (Kroger, Taco Viva, Crazy House…?), but alas, after a quick Blizzard stop at Dairy Queen, it’s time for them to shape the lives of Georgia’s youth. Despite their insane footwear choices, Nene and Phaedra up their “Cool Aunt” status by playing games with the kids and giving cute inspirational speeches about reaching for the stars, never giving up, following your dreams, etc. Chuck gives some strong foreshadowing that he is a big fat liar, pants on fire, by introducing Phaedra and Nene as “one of the top lawyers in America” and “right now, one of the top actresses in America,” respectively. Gloria Allred and Jennifer Lawrence be damned!
Chuck decides to take advantage of their hour and a half trapped in the car back to Atlanta by cornering Phaedra about telling his wife they “were boyfriend and girlfriend.” Phaedra confirms that, when asked, she told Mynique they had "dated," but she never made it seem like it was anything serious. And she didn’t. Which makes it all the worse when Chuck goes off on a tangent about being the “big homie” and that they were just the first version of “friends with benefits.” Yes, I’m sure Mynique would feel so much more comforted by that version of events.
When Phaedra says he could at least admit they went on dates and he took her to his football games, he proudly responds: “I had six different chicks stashed in the corner! You were part of the team, you and Kandi.” He then, unprovoked, says he lied to Kandi by making her feel like she was special and “took advantage of a young girl who was hungry in the game.” All of this is said as though it is better than having just dated the two women. It’s gross. It’s so gross.
Finally, it’s time for the blowup between Cynthia and Peter and his Crest White Strip beard that we all know is coming. Peter is understandably angry that Cynthia told him Malorie would be staying with them, in front of her, without talking to him about it first. I get that; he actually had a leg to stand on there. Instead of explaining that frustration, he starts going off about needing a man house in the city to decompress and when confronted with the fact that Cynthia is more “depressed” now than she was when they got married, screams, “YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR MIND!” He says if she can’t stop bringing up the fact that his “plans” are going to make them bankrupt (I’m summarizing), then their marriage will just become like a job he doesn’t want to do. It’s ugly. It’s so ugly.