'Project Runway' season finale recap: And the Winner Is...

But they muddled through. They gave Carol Hannah props for playing with volume and using color. They particularly loved the first dress, which they called ''exciting, photographable'' and said it had ''desire,'' whatever the hell that means. What was missing, though, was a connective thread. This deficit was obvious to anyone really paying attention, but I admit I didn't think it was significant enough to deprive the giggly Southern Belle of second place. But then the judges started goo-goo-ga-gaing over Althea's ''street vision'' (huh? is that code for "sloppy"?) and I realized once and for all that I have no idea what these people smoke before resting their butt cheeks in those chairs. Nina raved about Althea's ''sense of coolness'' that translates into ready-to-wear. Michael argued that ''a million women'' would love to own those beige Aladdin pants, which in his world (or tanning bed) are apparently universally flattering. Thank god for Lady Crazy Bangs, who pointed out that while all Althea's garments were perfectly wearable, together, they made for one lackluster runway show.

It was Queen-a Mean-a Irina who got the strongest critique — by far. Sure, there was a funny moment when Nina shot her a knowing look while reminding her that she'd warned her against going all black. And yes, Michael noted that the warrior woman character wasn't exactly novel. But pish to both those comments, which were nothing but red herrings. The judges lavished praise on Irina's cohesive, modern vision, the personal touch of her handmade T-shirts, and her ability to tell a story, to put on a show.

And so, C.H. came in third, Althea second, and Irina took the crown. When Heidi delivered the verdict, the newly anointed champ broke down in tears, proving once and for all that she is in fact human and not a femme-bot shipped in from the faraway planet known as Beyotch. (Its national slogan? ''I'm not here to make friends.'') For the first time all season, she respectfully acknowledged her colleagues: ''I had stiff competition.'' Who knows if she actually meant it or if it was just a carefully calculated first step in overhauling her Icy Czarina persona. Either way, I was touched by the sight of her ''old school'' pops wiping away tears as he and the rest of the Shabayeva clan joined their girl on stage. Here was this tough old guy who just last week seemed more likely to gargle gasoline than be caught on national television crying for his daughter. Even Heidi seemed tickled. ''Ahh, papa!'' Frau Klum said. Behold, friends, the magical healing powers of Project Runway!

With that, I bid you all adieu until January 14, 2010, when season 7 premieres. Not much of a break for weary old me, but at least the show will be back in New York. Hurray! I'd like to thank you all for joining me here every Friday. I read each and every one of your comments (even the unkind ones) and appreciate the input from all the fellow Runway addicts out there.

I'll be posting three separate exit interviews with Carol Hannah, Althea, and Irina later. In the meantime, I invite you one last time to check out Gordana's musings on this ridonk season. Like a bottle of Malbec, they get better with age!

[Sorry, video no longer available]

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