Pretty Little Liars recap: 'March of Crimes'

Sydney's connection to Jenna is revealed, and Ella learns the truth about Zack.
Ep. 09 | Aired Aug 5, 2014

I SEE YOU Jenna confronts Ali about how she (thinks she) knows all her little secrets.

Ron Tom/ABC Family

Away from all the infidelity, Spencer is headed to the eye doctor for an exam when she sees two Jennas walk in. Yes, you read that correctly: Two Jennas. Spencer immediately calls Emily, right before she sees the latest—and most amazing—note from "A." On the eye exam chart, Spencer makes out, "Can U C Me Yet?" Well played, "A." Texts are so season 1.

Emily rushes over to the eye doctor, where the Liars finally confront the two Jennas, which are actually Jenna and Sydney. Emily starts asking Sydney about her friendship with Jenna, but why does no one ask them why they're dressed exactly alike? It's as if Sydney is Jenna's stunt double or something, right? Also, Sydney—take off your sunglasses. You're inside, and you look stupid.

After the doctor, Emily runs home to change for the about-to-be-canceled engagement party when Sydney's waiting for her outside. Remember how Sydney used to volunteer at that school for the visually impaired in Philadelphia? Well, she was there when Ali came to visit Jenna years ago, and she'd helped to put Ali back together. When Jenna heard Ali was coming back to Rosewood, she reached out to Sydney to have someone there for her. Sydney swears she never expected to like Emily. Yeah, yeah, that's all great, but jumpsuit-wearing Emily doesn't care. In the greatest Emily moment of all-time, she tells Sydney that she's going to use her new position as assistant coach to watch her. Then, in the perfect demonstration of why angry works for this show, Emily sort of threatens to drown Sydney. (Maybe Paige did rub off on her?)

But angry Emily isn't alone. We've also got angry Spencer, who goes out to the lake house to try and hide the photos and recording that Emily stole from Noel. There, she finds Noel creepily hiding under a sheet. She grabs a poker from the fire and tries to get some answers from him, but all Noel tells her is that those photos are his "insurance" in case Ali turns on him. Shana sent them to Jenna, and he intercepted them for Ali the night Jenna's house blew up. Also, he's not 100 percent sure that the bomb wasn't meant for him. When he tries to grab the desk key (where the packet is hidden) from Spencer, she hits him, and this is where we learn that Noel has a very low pain tolerance. Regardless, one wound the size of a paper cut and Noel is also on Team Angry, where he's instantly 10 times more interesting. (Maybe this show should be called Angry Little Liars.)

Back at Toby's cabin, where Caleb keeps his ice in a bowl decorated with cute owls, Aria finally apologizes to Hanna, who seems to be pouring out bottles of alcohol. Hanna, who does both angry and sad very well, quickly forgives Aria in a very touching scene. Seriously, anger leads to good things for these girls. Maybe Ali should try it considering the episode ends with her once again at the police station. The cops think they've caught her kidnapper, but he's clearly just some blond guy with facial hair who listened to the recording of Ali's story and memorized it. But who gave him the recording? Well, that'd be "A," who's playing it on repeat while at the eye doctor.

Special shout-out to the other touching scene in which Byron and Ella reminisced about their first place together and he held her as she cried. If only it weren't ruined by the reminder that he, too, cheated on her. Maybe it's Ella's turn to get a little angry.

(Current) top suspect: Ashley (It's something in my gut.)

What did you all think of the episode? Do you trust Sydney? Or Noel? Or Ali?

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