Orphan Black recap: Super Sunshine Hit

Sestra Road Trip! Sarah and Helena hit the road, while Alison finds an old friend in rehab.
Ep. 06 | Aired May 24, 2014

A KISS BEFORE FIGHTING Happy Helena, for once

Jan Thijs/BBC

The title of Orphan Black season 2 episode 6 is "To Hound Nature In Her Wanderings," which as we all learned in gym class comes from Francis Bacon's De Augmentis Scientiarum, which translates from the original Norwegian into "The Advancement of Science." The full quotation is: "For you have but to hound nature in her wanderings, and you will be able when you like to lead and drive her afterwards to the same place again." Coincidentally, this week's episode of Orphan Black saw Sarah go on a drive, while Helena found herself lead back to the same place again. And with that incoherent segue out of the way, it's time once again to feed out latest findings into the Orphan Black Clone Status Variable Invasive Hyper-Sequence Generator Calcutron and once again rank our favorite Lady Clones on a scale of "Guy From Burn Notice" to "Guy From Suits."

1. Helena the Hellcat

Old Helena: Bloodthirsty and vicious psycho killer. New Helena: A grand old gal, prone to singin' and dancin' and drinkin' and fartin'  and fightin'! This season of Orphan Black has had its ups and its downs, but I dare you to find a moment on television this year more utterly joyful than the shot of Helena riding shotgun next to Sarah, loudly mangling the lyrics to "Sugar Sugar" by the Archies. "Must've been a huge hit with the nuns in the Ukraine," said Sarah. "Yes! Super Sunshine Hit!" exclaimed Helena.

The twins arrived at a church. Sarah walked in, told Helena not to go anywhere. Helena immediately went all kinds of somewhere, visiting a local bar and ordering all the alcohol plus more alcohol. "Better pace yourself," said a local man. "I'm on vacation," she responded. He flirted with her. She told him: "I think you bad goat. Maaaahhhh." Then she broke his finger. Or did she? "Don't be baby. I only sprain. Next time, I break."

Up walked a handsome fellow, who looked just like that guy from Suits, which is the show where all those guys in suits hang out with other guys in suits and sometimes women in suits, doing various suit-like things. She offered him a white russian, and gave him a look that said: "If you like that white russian, then I've got another one for you. It's five foot four and loves killin' things."

Helena and Guy From Suits really hit it off. She told him that she was hanging out with her sestra, having adventures. "You sure have led a life," said Guy From Suits. They arm wrestled each other. They laughed. She went in for a kiss. They made out. Angry Carl With The Facial Hair tried to attack her. She hit him in the head with a pool ball, and punched another guy. The cops arrived and took her away.

Her sister showed up for her. Not her real sister, though: It was Gracie, mouth recently unsewn. Helena could relate. "He sewed you silent. I had this also once. It will heal." Gracie offered to take Helena to her children. They took her eggs, and father "made them whole for you." So Helena agreed to go back to the Proletheans, which isn't quite what I expected. But road trips do take you to strange places.

2. Sarah the Searcher

Sarah's on the hunt for mythology. She wants to get to the bottom of it all: Dyad, the Duncans, the Neolutionists, everything. So while Helena was working on her third or fourth shot of vodka, Sarah was investigating the Cold River Institute. One Mr. Peckham had been looking into the church's archives. Turns out that Maggie Chen had been there, too -- and coincidentally, there were some patient histories missing.

Mr. Peckham was Andrew Peckham -- and, as it quickly became clear, Andrew Peckham was Ethan Duncan. Sarah found out where he lived, knocked on the door...and who should be there but Mrs. S, who not that long ago killed a man right in front of Sarah's face. "You knew all along," said Sarah. "My whole life. You're just one of them, aren't you?" Siobhan swore no: That Dyad had been chasing after her ever since she took Sarah in.

She took Sarah to meet Duncan, who gave her something like the full backstory. Susan Duncan was the brains of the operation, apparently: She's the one who cracked the Spindle Protein Problem. They succeded in cloning human embryos. But an oversight committee declared them an "ethical failure." That's where Dyad came in, telling them to push on to full-term. Duncan spoke loving words about his Rachel. "We loved her. I want to see her." Somehow, it all went wrong. It wasn't the Duncans. It wasn't Dyad. It was the Neolutionists inside of Dyad -- led by Dr. Leekie. "Leekie wouldn't let us raise her. We were going to expose everything. He found out." So Aldous Leekie killed Rachel's mother.

I'm not sure how I feel about this revelation. Last season, it already felt like Dr. Leekie was the Big Bad; this season seemed to imply that was a bluff, with Rachel as the true power, but not it seems like the bluff was a bluff, and that Leekie really was a malevolent bad guy the whole time. Still, I'm excited to see how this revelation changes things, as we move closer to this season's endgame.

SIDE NOTE: Outside, Mrs. S met up with Paul and revealed yet again that she apparently knows everything about everyone. She talked Paul out of trying to take Sarah back, and told him that -- in his position -- he could really use a new friend. So now, if I follow things correctly, Paul is monitoring Rachel for Dr. Leekie, but he reports to Rachel who technically outranks Dr. Leekie, and Dr. Leekie is secretly working against Rachel, and now Paul is also working with Mrs. S. So basically, this is what Paul is now:

3. Alison Makes A New Friend

Alison is sorry, all right? She's sorry she ruined her play with her drinking. She's sorry that her husband is a traitorous lying scumbag. She's sorry that everyone around her is a lunatic drunk drug-addicted freakout, and she's just a simple average everyday lovable wonderful perfect housewife. Can she help it if she's a good person, and the world is bad? No, she cannot! She's not an actual drunk! She can quit anytime she wants! You think she's out of order? This whole court is out of order!

In walked Vic, Sarah's abusive and half-crazy ex-boyfriend. (ASIDE: Now that we've seen Sarah Manning blossom into a CIA-level conwoman/action hero, doesn't it seem insane that she was ever with a burnout like Vic? END OF ASIDE.) Vic is feeling better. He's off the drugs. He's on the Buddha. Then he sees Sarah, his tormentor. Or is it Sarah? She says, "I'm not Sarah." She says she's Sarah's clone. Victor can't handle it. "The godhead has put you here to test me," says Vic.

But perhaps Vic has turned over a new life. Alison's traitorous hubby showed up, without the kids. Alison handled this news as well as could be expected. "If you show up here without my kids again, I will cut off your dangly balls," she said demurely. Vic stepped in, trying to help: "Anger is a tool," he said, "and we use it on problems, not people."

Perhaps Alison and Vic could be friends. Perhaps not everyone in Alison's life is monitoring her for some exterior force. Alison decided to make friends with Vic. Vic then walked outside and revealed that he was monitoring Alison for an exterior force: Specifically, Art's partner, Angela Deangelis. (I didn't realize that was her full name, and now I have to assume that she is the alter ego of a heretofore undiscovered superheroine.) Sorry Alison. You can't trust anyone these days. Not even the godhead.

4. Cosima Tries To Offer Some Hope

"Stem cells from the exfoliated dental pulp of baby teeth, in my uterus," is something Cosima said on this week's episode. And if that's not disturbing enough, then guess who's coming to the laboratory: Scott the Sequencing Tech! And he knows about the clones. Well, he doesn't know everything about the clones. And Scott the Sequencing Tech made a potentially freaky discovery. Cosima had him looking at stem cells -- but they weren't from a clone, they were from a different person. Someone who shares 13 STR loci with the clones. "Whoever you cloned, did they have a female relative?" he asked. "Like a niece? Or even a daughter?" Cosima and Delphine turned to each other, staring into each other's eyes, both clearly sharing a thought balloon with "THE PLOT THICKENS" written in a huge font.

Personally, I preferred the moment a little earlier, when Cosima chatted to Sarah. They were talkin' science stuff, and then Sarah got real. "Are you gonna be all right, Cosima?" Of course, of course, said her supercool lab-rat sister. "I can't do this without you," said Sarah. "Obviously," said Cosima. "I'm the geek monkey." Tears!

Follow Darren on Twitter: @DarrenFranich

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