Image credit: Jack Rowand/ABC
THIS KISS, THIS KISS! It's criminal...ly hot.
But in the meantime, Charming says that an eternity under Pan's thumb is a small price to pay for the ability to help save Henry -- so he drinks the water, then runs back to the MBC's clearing so he can kiss the stuffing out of Snow White. (Big night for makeouts.) He and Hook tell the gals that Pan got to the sextant before they did -- and then Charming adds that Hook saved his life, though he lies about the exact circumstances. Everyone but Regina ("I don't do rum"; a woman after Olivia Pope's own heart) drinks a toast to Hook. Then Regina and the Charmings walk off, leaving Emma and Hook behind... where they do this. Go ahead, watch it five more times. I won't tell. Extra squee material: After the big kiss, Emma basically tells Hook to get lost. He replies by saying "as you wish" -- and we all know what "as you wish" means.
Everything's comin' up Killian! Well, until Pan shows up and informs Hook that there's a fly in the ointment: Neal, or Baelfire, or Glumsy Magoo, or whatever he's calling himself these days, is alive and on the island. Has Hook reformed enough to tell his smooch partner that her real Twue Wuv is just a jungle away... or are his pirate instincts still too strong?
- Not only is Bae in Never Land, but he's being held captive in a bamboo box... one suspended next to another box holding another of Pan's prisoners. Who could he have in there? Rumpelstiltskin's deadbeat dad, who's set to show up in a future episode? Little mermaid Ariel? Red Riding Hood, to prevent her from moving to CBS? Gwyneth Paltrow's head?!
- Wait, speaking of dudes Emma's made out with on this show -- can we take a minute to discuss the fact that freakin' Sheriff Skinnyjeans has been cast as the lead of Fifty Shades of Grey?!?!
- Emma intuits that Little Bae gave up hope and stopped marking the days he was stuck in Never Land, "because it's what I did every time I went to a new foster home." Maybe Emma got kicked out of so many homes because she couldn't stop writing on the walls.
- Could Henry speed things along by just imagining that his family has rescued him already? We're already five weeks into this plot; something's gotta give.
- Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that Hook knows more than he's letting on about where the sextant is now. Is this really the gang's key to leaving Never Land?
- Who else wanted to yell at their TV when Hook impulsively burned that Pegasus feather sail? Dude, even if you're mad, it gives boats the power of flight!
- What war was the Jones brothers' king fighting? Did it have anything to do with ogres?
- Henry, like his dad before him, tries to comfort himself by drawing a crude picture of his old Earth house. Aw!
- Perhaps this Mulan/Aurora thing has just gotten me twisted, but when Pan was all up in the Captain's grill sneering that he wanted to "see your hook inside [Charming]'s body," I could swear there was a whiff of sexual tension. Maybe we should just ship Hook/everyone.
- This spring business may have revealed the secret to defeating Pan: Those imbued with the powers of Never Land die if they leave its shores. That's got to be why Pan sends his shadow to steal kids; he'd perish if he abandoned his perch for any other world. All the MBC has to do, then, is find some way to push Pan out of Never Land. Update: Of course, as a commenter points out, Pan did appear in Hamelin during Rumpel's fairyback... but that was before he even had a crew of Lost Boys, so he may not have been tied as closely to Never Land's magic yet. Or, you know, my theory is just totally wrong.
- That said, nothing on Once is an accident -- and having Snow and Emma drink from Hook's rum flask just moments after we learned about the magic water seems like it can't have been a coincidence. Might Regina be the only MBC member who's actually capable of leaving Never Land now?
- Next week: ARIEL! And... Regina is Ursula? Can't wait to be part of that world.