Image credit: Jack Rowand/ABC
HERE'S TO THE LADIES WHO LUNCH Seriously, don't Regina and Tink look like they're in a musical revue?
The biggest bummer of all: Tink stole for a good reason. She was just trying to help a despondent, newly married Regina, who hadn't yet made the full transition into evil queendom. The two met when Tink saved Regina from certain death; they bonded at a boozy brunch, where talk naturally turned to boys. (At this point in the timeline, Tink is a Carrie and Regina is a sad Charlotte.) Tink promised to help Regina find her second soulmate, with the help of that contraband dust. Regina went along with the plan, but chickened out at the last moment, walking away from her New Wuv and leaving Tink to feel the Blue Fairy's wrath.
At some point in the 40-odd years that have passed since that point -- including 28 curse years -- Tinker Bell ended up in Neverland, where she apparently befriended Pan. Or at least, Pan has reason to trust her; it's tough to say whether that little creep is capable of actual friendship.
Tink has also crossed paths with Hook. In the present day, he wants to ask the fairy to help the MBC infiltrate Pan's ever-moving camp. (Question: Is a fairy even still a fairy if she's lost her wings?) The gang sets off in search of Tink, though Regina protests that the ex-pixie is never going to help them. Little do they know, but Tink herself -- looking much less bright-eyed and bushy-skirted than in the fairyback -- is actually tracking their every move. Man, what is it about mysterious island jungles that transforms friendly blond ladies from Down Under into feral nutbars?
Eventually, Tink shows herself, drugs Regina (with poppies... poppies!), and drags the queen off to a secluded clearing, where she threatens to make Regina pay for ruining her. Regina, badass that she is, totally calls the fairy's bluff. She tears out her own heart (!) and hands it over to Tink, urging her to crush it if she really wants vengeance. But if Tink goes through with murder, Regina warns, she'll be no better than Regina herself -- and her own heart will soon grow cold and black and coated in cheap plastic, just like Regina's.
The queen's cautionary tale, plus her obvious love for her adopted son, is enough to convince Tink not to take her revenge after all. But while she doesn't plan to kill Regina anymore, she doesn't plan to help her either. Or at least, Tink doesn't plan to help until the rest of the MBC shows up and offers to take her with them when they leave Neverland with Henry in tow. Perhaps suddenly feeling four decades' worth of vitamin D deficiency, Tink agrees. Time to kick Operation [Rescue] Henry into high gear.
NEXT: There's just one problem...