That's mistake number one. Mistake number two: Regina grabs the Dark One's dagger and orders a vengeful Rumpel not to kill the woman who murdered his son, because "heroes don't kill." Let's pause for a moment and recall that nearly every main character on this show has killed someone at one point or another. Oh, and that just last week, Charming etc. offed like, five flying monkeys, each of whom used to be a Storybrooke townsperson. But okay, Regina, whatever you say; let's pretend that Once's good guys are strict adherents to Commandment Six.
Pause over. The battle's won; everyone but Zelena is in a pretty good place, even if Emma's powers apparently haven't returned to her. (She says she won't need them when she and Henry move back to New York. Sigh; this again?) Regina, good but maybe not that good, takes some time out to taunt her half-sister in jail, letting her know that if she doesn't mend her ways, she'll find herself the victim of sororicide. And then Zelena gets another visitor: Rumpelstiltskin, fresh from asking Belle to marry him. In lieu of an engagement ring, he offered the bookworm some ancient weaponry -- specifically, the Dark One's dagger. Except here's the twist: That dagger was a fake. The real one is in Rumpel's hands... and, soon enough, he's stuck it deep within Zelena's chest.
Seems an act of pure vengeance must be enough to undo even the most powerful of light magics. Because after Rumpel stabs Zelena, she turns into some sort of life-sized porcelain figurine -- a reference to Oz's China People? -- then shatters into a million pieces. He doesn't stick around to see the pieces turn to ash, disappear... and trigger a column of green smoke from that emerald Regina certainly should have destroyed. The smoke snakes out from Regina's crypt, travels to the compass still drawn on the dirt floor... and just like that, the wormhole Zelena created has officially opened. Gentleman, please cue up the last song of the night: Huey Lewis's "Back in Time."
- How weird must it have been when Snow realized her baby was being delivered by her one-night stand?
- Storybrooke has, oh, 15 citizens, and yet the real-estate section of the Daily Mirror is robust enough to sport multiple apartment listings. Also, Henry is looking for apartments in an actual analog newspaper. Between this and the Game Boy, I wouldn't be surprised to learn he's actually a time traveler from 1989.
- Like most TV towns, Storybrooke is also a magical land where babies are born without umbilical cords.
- "What is he going to do? I have magic! He has one hand!" So... many... innuendos...
- Part of me thinks Glinda asked Z to become her "sister" because she wanted the coven to be one giant "a blonde, two brunettes, and a redhead" joke.
- Regina's light magic only really activates when Robin grabs her heart from Zelena's spell compass. Awww.
- Wait -- the whole time between Zelena's defeat and the gang's return to the hospital, nobody thought to call Snow and let her know the baby was okay? That's so mean!
- Next week: Season 3 comes to a close, and Once will introduce a new world. The smart money's on Narnia, as it's both a beloved name-brand fantasy realm and one Disney owns the rights to -- but I'm holding out for Where the Wild Things Are. Any other guesses for where we could be headed next?