Zelena also chooses this moment to remind Regina (and the rest of us) that she and the Evil Queen share a mother. Present-day Regina, to her credit, is a lot more skeptical of this bombshell's veracity than Recent Past Regina was. (Her best barb: "I think my mother would tell me if she had a lovechild with the Scarecrow." Don't give the writers any ideas, Regina.)
A snoop through Cora's crypt, however, changes everything. There, Regina rediscovers a letter she'd seen many times in her youth. It's a note Rumpelstiltskin wrote to Cora, praising the woman's "firstborn" for her extraordinary magical abilities. All her life, Regina thought that she was the subject of the letter; the idea gave her comfort and solace. But as she informs a sympathetic Robin Hood, Regina knows now that she's been mistaken -- Rump was actually talking about Zelena all along. We're totally building up to a gigantic Jacob vs. Man in Black blowout, aren't we?
So Regina and Zelena are scheduled for pistols at dawn -- er, magic at dusk -- and the only being in Storybrooke who may be able to help the side of good is currently under Zelena's thrall. Even Belle's unconditional love isn't enough to tear the Dark One away from the keeper of his dagger. (Believe me, she tried.) Everything comes to a head that evening, just as Zelena declared it would. The sisters meet in the center of town; every other main character is there to watch their brawl, because Storybrooke really is just a haven for overgrown elementary schoolers. There is much over-the-top quippery; you can tell these two are related because of how they both love snarling insults before lobbing spells.
But after all that buildup, the fight itself isn't really much to be seen. Regina tries to toss a fireball but is thwarted by Zelena's magic; Zelena throws Regina through the face of the clock tower, then tries to seal her victory by reaching into the queen's chest. There's just one problem. As Regina says with a satisfied smile, "My mother taught me one thing: Never bring your heart to a witch fight." Whaddaya know, someone in Storybrooke finally showed some foresight! Zelena's left fuming on her broomstick; Regina recovers her heart, then gives it to Robin for safekeeping. Aww yeah; her full transition to Merry Woman is only a matter of time.
NEXT: "The Wicked West" vs. actual geography