Image credit: Jack Rowand/ABC
NOT JUST CHOKING AROUND This is the weirdest shampoo ad ever.
Uh oh -- King George is posing in front of an ominous bonfire. Once Charming catches up to him, George takes out a bunch of marshmallows and starts strumming "The Circle Game' on an acoustic Fender. Just kidding! He tosses the remains of Jefferson's busted hat onto the flames, thereby insuring that Charming will never, ever see his wife or daughter again. Moral of the story: If somebody tells you that you should have killed them when you had the chance, believe them.
Ah, but wait: It appears that Charming is actually closer to Emma and Snow than he knows. When Henry falls asleep wearing that magic pendant, he's finally able to communicate with the other resident of the burning Netherworld Sim house: Aurora, who is finally useful for something. Let's all go to Granny's; I'll drink to that!
- I know I'm the only person who's thought about Shakira's "She Wolf" since circa 2009, but can we please discuss that song's crazy/beautiful lyrics? I can't decide which I like better: "I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office," or "Nocturnal creatures are not so prudent/The moon's my teacher, and I'm her student."
- Timeline question: Tonight's episode takes place during the first full moon since the curse was broken. That means four weeks max have passed since Snow and Emma were sucked into Fairy Land. Do we know how long Emma was in Storybrooke before she broke the curse? If she was there for seven months – the length of time over which Season 1 aired – then it’s currently around June of 2012 on the show right now, depending on when Storybrooke saw its last full moon.
- My notes accidentally include more than one mention of Prince Charmin, which makes me wonder how the story would change if Charming were actually heir to a kingdom made entirely of toilet paper.
- Hilarious out-of-context line of the night: "Charming asked us to mine for dust. Fairy dust."
- Was Red's cloak in the pawn shop before King George snatched it up?
- Snow wants to find a cozy spot where she and Red can hide, "maybe a nice cabin in the woods." Er, Snow -- you might want to rethink that one.
- Seriously, though, what's the deal with that underground castle? Think they'll bother explaining it at some point, or should we just accept that it exists and move on?
- Don't you just love when George calls Charming "shepherd"? Although it does drive home the fact that we still don't know the guy's real name.
- Note to Belle: Perhaps you shouldn't call yourself an "expert when it comes to rehabilitation" until you, you know, successfully rehabilitate someone. I am, however, happy that someone remembered to unchain you. Imagine being held just too far from the wall to read a single book -- true torture for a bibliophile.
- My favorite exchange tonight was between Charming and George: "You killed an innocent man." "He was a mouse."
Once is off next week because of the American Music Awards -- so I expect to see an extra-large amount of discussion in the comments. Until then, my pets, may you always run free beneath the wind's pale light -- and watch out for rogue fire pokers.