Once Upon a Time recap: The Lady Is a Vamp

In which we're introduced to Belle's cursed self: a sultry pool hustler known as Lacey
Ep. 19 | Aired Apr 21, 2013

HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT Lacey definitely knows the color of money. (Green, BTW.)

Jack Rowand/ABC

Breadcrumbs

- The whole "a boy will be your undoing" prophecy is still keeping Rump awake at night, though as of now he seems to have put plans to off Henry on hold. (Contain your disappointment.)

- We've also got a new development on the "returning to Fairy Land" front -- now Snow, too, wants to go back, because she believes that restoring their land is the best way to restore her blackened heart.

- Dark Rump won't give you a comfortable sleeping surface or a change of clothes, but he will give you a pillow with which you're welcome to muffle your own agonized sobs. I'd love to see his castle's Yelp reviews.

- Robin Hood's bow has been enchanted so that it never misses its target. Who could have given him such a marvelous item, if not Rumpel -- a fairy, perhaps?

- As if the naming conventions on this show weren't confusing enough, Tamara insists on calling Ethan Embry's character "Greg" -- even though we know his real name is Owen. Arrg!

- Any chance that the Rabbit Hole bar is a subtle way for Once to advertise its proposed Wonderland spinoff?

- Regina, after Rump asks what she's done with Belle: "Do I look like a one-handed pirate with a pistol?" Halloween costume alert!

- Lacey's a big Van Halen fan. Rump, clearly, is a Journey man. This relationship will never work.

- What do you think happened to Maid Marian's baby? Was she, like Cinderella, doomed to be pregnant for 28 years? (And can we still call her "maid" in this case?)

- Seriously, why is there exactly one restaurant in Storybrooke? Did Granny have Red eat the competition or something?

- This quote from my couchmate illustrates why you should definitely invite an uninitiated viewer to watch Once with you: "Why is that Australian lady wearing a sequined dress to a diner?"

- Lil' August and Henry are apparently thick as thieves. Uh oh, I smell preciousness.

- Bae, describing his reluctance to ever go back to the Enchanted Forest: "I didn't exactly have a fairytale childhood." That line deserved a rim shot.

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