Image credit: Jack Rowand/ABC
DRINK UP Those warm, fuzzy feelings won't last long, now that Cora and Hook are in town.
Well, not really. On the day of Charming and Snow's wedding, a sulky Regina mopes about her evil castle, all dressed up with no one to torment. Her spirits brighten when Rumpelstiltskin pops by, pointing out that the semantics of his spell were no accident. Regina can't harm the Charmings in this world. But in, say, a land without shrimp -- or magic -- those same rules wouldn't apply. Regina smiles. Looks like she's got somewhere to go that day after all. Hello, continuity!
And in the present day, Emma and her parents show up at Regina's house -- a smaller mob than the one led by Dr. Whale, but one that's no less righteously angry. Though she knows she's committed no crime, Regina's temper flares when Emma says she's going to have to tell Henry that his adoptive mother is a murderer. There's yelling, there's futile fairy dust tossing, there's the threat of even more magical violence by Regina -- but when Emma hisses that there's no way Henry will believe Regina is good now, the queen finally looks stricken, like she can't believe what's happening to her. And just like that, she disappears in a puff of purple smoke. Is Regina finally broken enough to welcome Cora back?
Speak of the devil: Now that her daughter's life is in tatters, Cora is finally ready to release Hook into Storybrooke. Before he heads off, though, he might want to check the hold of his ship, where a very important captive is waiting. Is it perpetual victim Belle, or even Rumpelstiltskin himself? Nope: It's Jiminy Human, who is very much alive. Hooray! Which means Cora murdered someone else entirely and simply disguised his body so that it looked like Jiminy's. Look on the bright side: Maybe now both Gus Gus and Jaq are in a better place.
- For timeline nerds: Emma says tonight that Henry is now 11 years old, indicating that at least a year has passed since the events of the pilot.
- And on a similar note: The kid is in what, sixth grade and he still doesn't know why two adults would be in bed together in the middle of the day? I thought he was 11, not stupid.
- Note that as Cora and Hook walk away from their ship, we see a swan swimming in the harbor. Odette, is that you?
- The bright side of Emma walking in on her parents in post-coital bliss (ack! eugh!): "It's impressive that we can still provide her with a few traumatic childhood memories," says Charming.
- Regina to her minion: "Do not tell me what we can or can't do!" Lost fans in the audience: "DRINK!"
- Regina sure loves her some lasagna.
- Honestly, the queen shouldn't have worried about there being ramifications even if she had murdered someone. Remember when King George suffered no consequences whatsoever for sawing a person in half?
- He can spin straw into gold, he can wipe out a gang of knights with a flick of his wrist, he can transform a few follicles into a powerful spell... but Rumpelstiltskin can't talk to a dog?
Next week brings that Hook/Rump rematch we've been waiting for, which should be reason enough to skip the Golden Globes. But first, let's discuss tonight's "Cricket Game": Was it worth the wait?