Image credit: Jeff Weddell/ABC
CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER This Alice is all grown up. Also, she's a ninja, or something.
After kicking ass and taking names at the asylum, our fearless trio hops a portal from Victorian England to the realm that gives this show its name -- and lands straight in the sticky, icky Mallow Marsh, a punny location that actually has no origin in Lewis Carroll. A fire-breathing dragonfly helps them escape the muck, even though that's not really what happens when you toast marshmallows. Poetic license!
Alice wants to head straight off to the Tulgey Wood, where the Mad Hatter once made his home -- and where, according to the Rabbit (who heard it from the Dormouse), Alice's true love Cyrus has been hiding. She manages to convince the reluctant Knave to come along by offering him a prize more precious than rubies: a ruby. Wait, no -- it's a ruby that represents a wish. Uh oh -- I'm hoping that while the Knave was in our world, he happened to read "The Monkey's Paw."
They're unconcerned that the third member of their little band is missing. But they should be, because while they're trekking off to HatHouse, the Rabbit is having a secret meeting with the Red Queen.
Turns out he's been in cahoots with her this whole time. Damnit! I knew that Lithgow seemed shifty. He's spying on Alice for reasons that remain unknown, though evidently he owes the Queen a favor. What the Rabbit doesn't know -- hoo boy, all these revelations are starting to make me a bit dizzy -- is that the Queen herself is also collaborating with yet another baddie:
As in, Jafar-Jafar. "Patience, Iago" Jafar. Jafar, Jafar, he's our man, if he can't do it -- GREAT! That guy. From Aladdin. And... The Return of Jafar.
Seeing a genie in Wonderland is typical Once-style mashup shenanigans. Seeing Jafar there, wearing Naveen Andrews' face, is just plain weird. Granted, he doesn't have a wise-talking parrot, and his beard isn't quite so... twisted. But even so, it's going to take awhile before I can accept this guy as a flesh-and-blood character, especially if he keeps speaking in that goofy accent and using The Force to strangle people.
So okay, these two are teaming up for... reasons. Whatever they want "can't be accomplished until we have the genie's bottle and the girl's made all her wishes," Jafar helpfully exposits. Clearly, it'll be awhile before we know the meat of their eeevil plan. In the meantime, just keep in mind that Jafar has a magic carpet -- one that he used to catch Cyrus when the Queen pushed him off that cliff lo those many minutes ago.
NEXT: A serving of Breadcrumbs -- with a twist