New Girl recap: Not a Dessert Person

Nick's aloof new lady friend brought out the crybaby in everyone except Winston, who was trying to get his swagger back
Ep. 11 | Aired Jan 31, 2012

THE POLKA DOT INCIDENT Jess's personal baggage came into play when Nick's new girlfriend wasn't super-excited to wear ribbon hats and eat cupcakes with Jess all the livelong day

Patrick Wymore/Fox

Who doesn't like cupcakes? In my entire life, I've literally only met one person who didn't like cupcakes. To be fair, Nick's new girlfriend Julia wasn't hating on cupcakes specifically but desserts generally. I still haven't decided if that's worse or better than singling out cupcakes. Either way, Julia brought out the cynicism in Jess (although she was boasting about a ribbon hat while snarking on Julia) and the whiny girl in Schmidt. Two many girls in the New Girl bathroom is one too many according to Schmidt's damp towel. How else did Julia, who is going to be around for at least two more episodes, shake up the group dynamic?

Let's start at the beginning. Nick and Julia were reveling in their honeymoon phase all while being careful not to label anything because apparently that's something only schmucks do -- communicate clearly. (Point of fact: What schmucks actually do is make up "sophisticated person" accents and dances, à la Jess and Winston.) Jess was also excited about Julia becoming a regular fixture at the apartment because it meant having another girl around. Schmidt was less pleased. Apparently we girls are born with some sort of humidity-emitting enzyme that throws off Schmidt's towel game. Cue a hilarious Mexican standoff between a completely unbothered Julia and a wildly bothered (and six-pack flexing) Schmidt.

Schmidt wasn't the only one weathering a chilly reception from Julia. In case you couldn't have guessed it, Julia (who is like pretty much every other character Lizzy Caplan has ever played, but especially Janis Ian and Casey Klein) did not immediately appreciate Jess's particular brand of eccentricity. If you took Nick's low level of patience for Jess, then added in a litany of sexual politics and subtracted the possibility of physical attraction that makes for sexual tension, you'd have Julia. Multiply that by a situation in which Jess asked Julia to help her get out of a parking ticket that she totally deserved. Long story short, she braked for a bird, got caught by the stoplight cam, then didn't make her court appearance because her jerk ex "doesn't believe in mail." None of these circumstances even exist in Julia's world. You could practically see her eyes twitching from the strain of not rolling them.

NEXT: Rejected cupcakes do not friends a-make

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