Nashville recap: Inside the Dream (Of Scarlett's Nightmare)

Juliette goes back on tour, this time with our ethereal doily; Deacon finds out his girlfriend Megan slept with Teddy
Ep. 18 | Aired Mar 26, 2014


Ugh, speaking of Will, he followed through on his faulty plan of marrying Layla for the straight cred, the same night that evil Jeff Fordham sidled up to Gunnar during Luke's trio with Will and Deacon (on a song Jeff didn't even know Gunnar had co-written, the tool) and point-blank asked Gunnar if Will was gay. He's no homophobe, Jeff insisted to Gunnar. But let's not get it twisted, gurl -- the mighty arena of Country Music is a major no-fly zone for the gays.

Gunnar could've told the truth, but it's not his to tell. He lives with the guy, he said to Jeff while staring straight ahead. "Boy's caught more tail than a damn rabbit hunter." Ha! And that is probably true, based on what Will's shared with Gunnar. It's just that the tails belong to guys. Male tails. Jeff buys it, though. I think. Probably not. Hard to tell. Jeff is such a magnificent monster, right? I loved when he and Rayna SEETHED at each other outside her dressing room at the live stream event/Luke's concert (just go with it! It's Nashville). I'm not ruling out a potential Rayna-Jeff attraction down the line. Negative chemistry is still remarkable chemistry. I just say.

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Also just sayin': I bet Will wasn't mad about this particular point in the performance.

Meanwhile, Rayna has served Scarlett with the ultimate death sentence: She's gotta go back out on tour. Juliette's tour. Inside the Dream a.k.a Scarlett's Nightmare. Ms. Barnes is "the biggest controversy in country since the Dixie Chicks," according to Manager Glenn, who by the way was starring in his own little documentary tonight called Behind the Beads.

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Glenn was lovin' it! I love him. Excellent beadwork tonight overall, especially as Avery and Juliette watched Scarlett dedicate her new piano-driven ballad (read: a curse!) to Juliette against the headliner's will.

Scarlett was being her typical hangdoggy, I-hate-performing-I-just-wanna-record, gimme-more-shawls-now self. Juliette called Scarlett both "squirrelly" and "a butterfly," which are both solid paraphrases of my preferred title for her, "ethereal doily." Juliette was exuding some serious series-premiere vibes (the same sweet yet insanely subversive and condescending sass she'd used on Rayna the night they first met) backstage as she reminded Scarlett who was in charge. "For the love of God, bring some spark to the party," she ordered through gritted teeth. Scarlett promptly popped a pill.

Is Liam sending Scarlett more speed from Asia or Mars or St. Lucia or wherever he is? The bottle sounds nowhere close to empty. I love that I'm worried about whether Scarlett will be able to maintain or acquire a prescription while out on tour, instead of not taking drugs, which is probably the better option. But she's so GREAT on drugs! It's a tradeoff.

Well, great for a few hours anyway. "Something about her reminds me of my mom," Juliette remarked to Avery after realizing she loved the new edgy Scarlett. I really dig how Juliette is a businesswoman at heart -- despite her jealousy issues with Scarlett and Avery, she recognizes that Scarlett's "raw nerve," that sensitivity of hers, is what's gonna make her great (and help Juliette in the process). Ethereal doily wants to be fired? "No such luck," you squirrelly bitch. See you at the after party. XOXO.

Juliette and Avery end on a stripped-down (emotionally!) conversation revealing her vulnerability -- she's being so defensive and bossy because she's fallen for Yoda. "You have my heart -- you're capable of destroying me," Juliette says. "I would never do that," he promises.

NEXT PAGE: Accessory of the Week and Loose, Gorgeous Connie Britton Wave of the Week

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