Nashville recap: Nobody Puts Juliette in a Corner!

How DARE you not promote Juliette's controversial comeback during Rayna's album release party?
Ep. 17 | Aired Mar 11, 2014

ABC

Zoey -- remember Zoey? -- doesn't get a backup singing gig, even though her voice is gorgeous and she looks exactly like a hot-ass backup singer. So she's free to stick around Nashville and keep Scarlett and Gunnar apart for six more months. Perf.

Maddie wants to go live with her "real dad" -- I know Teddy's lame, but OUCH! -- after her grades drop and Teddy exhibits some very reasonable parenting by grounding her and getting her real parents Rayna and Deacon on the same page as him, which is that Maddie should tone down the eyeliner by a dozen levels and consider school just as viable a life option as becoming a teen musician, at least for a few more years. I get where she's coming from; I was a total brat at her age even without the whole I'm-biologically-a-country-music-genius sense of entitlement she must feel. It's attending history class vs. making history on YouTube. You do the math. Hopefully you're better at it than Maddie.

Maddie's response? She uploads a video of herself singing and playing guitar to the terrible, horrible, no good very bad internet… under the name Maddie Claybourne.

Oh my God.

What a freaking fantastic stage name.

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I MEAN. "You make me smile." !!!!!!!!!!!!.

Loose, Gorgeous Connie Britton Wave of the Week:

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Hello, polka dot boobs, too. Amazing dress.

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Head back to March 4th's 'Nashville' recap: 'Guilty Street'

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