Meanwhile, Scarlett and Avery undergo the briefest and most amicable TV breakup (between two relative drama queens) in recent memory. She accuses him of having feelings for Juliette, he denies it, and she comes back with this: "I saw the way you looked at her." This line is always fascinating to me, coming from real, live people (ewww) as well as TV characters. It's the ultimate deal breaker line that just puts the ball in the other person's court: How will they react in the face, basically, is the question.
Well, Avery's face flickers in recognition of the truth, and Scarlett's done (again…though she'd been done again long before this, I think). I like what she says next: "We're like old slippers, aren't we? Step back in and try to pick back up where we left off. But we're not the same. No, I guess we're not." THIS COULD BE A SONG. That damn fool just wrote a verse. Eff her.
Ooh boy. Juliette. As if the cheesy galaxy backgrounds during her rehearsal of "Dreams" weren't bad enough, she makes the mistake of engaging with her haters -- this sad sack group of reactionary taunters/stalkers that apparently thinks "No respect for Juliette" actually rhymes. Think again, creeps! Enraged by a protester's comment -- "You know your mother's in hell just like you will be" -- Juliette coolly approaches him and seethes, "There is no God… that would listen to a crackpot like you."
The lesson here is: Never say anything out loud because YOU ARE ALWAYS ON CAMERA. Some dork loops the footage of Juliette saying "There is no God" and it hits the terrible, horrible internet, out of context. (I love that the context, the complete story, is obviously better than just the God comment, but it's not that much better. Like, just keep your mouth shut next time. But that's so hard when haters be hatin'.) So Juliette enlists Zooey Deschanel stand-in Layla, who'd been next to her, to hold a press conference explaining the context. The catch? Now she owes Layla one. Gross.
Deacon's in a bad place, too -- but eventually realizes that it's so bad because he's so happy. Let's back up: Pressed by his manager to come up with new material, he endures hours of pencil-drumming and piano key-cleaning that lead nowhere. When Megan comes over, he's psyched to see her (sexually…) but soon his frustration over writing takes over and turns him incredibly nasty. I get it, though. It's no fun to see Deacon be so mean, but zero progress when you're under pressure is NO FUN. She rightfully deletes herself from the toxic situation, and Deacon ends up parked outside a liquor store. NO!
NEXT: Liam gets away with a very romantic scarf