“WHOA.” That’s the text I got from my colleague Michelle Profis after last night’s bombshell baby revelation. Earlier on Wednesday, we had resigned ourselves to accepting that the season finale of Modern Family would be relatively unshocking, as the Cameron/Mitchell adoption storyline has been stretched out all season long and would almost definitely be resolved. We couldn’t imagine a situation in which viewers didn’t meet their second baby, but that’s definitely not what happened last night. As another unfortunate development impeded the Pritchett-Tuckers on their way to becoming a foursome, we got a different -- and very unexpected -- revelation: Gloria’s pregnant!
The baby mama drama started when Cam and Mitchell got the phone call that sent them scurrying off towards Calexico (let me get that started for you) to get their newborn baby. Lily -- being the needy black swan that she is -- had an important ballet recital, which the dads handed off to Jay, Manny and Gloria. A second phone call, this time from the mother’s Spanish-speaking sister (named Juanita, whom you’ll need to know for later), made it clear that the boys would need Gloria to come along for the ride to act as translator at the hospital. You know, just in case anything casual came up.
As the trio entered the hospital, I couldn’t be the only one who squealed when I realized exactly where Modern Family was about to take this. As soon as a Spanish-speaking priest emerged from the delivery room with a warning -- in Spanish -- for Spanish-speaking sister Juanita, the telenovela was on! Cam and Mitchell looked on in confusion as Gloria attempted to relay the melodrama unfolding. In comes a nurse! Wearing no clothes! And she slaps Juanita! Because she told the baby’s mother’s mother about the baby! And now there's a ranchhand! ¡Que scandale!
For a brief moment, Cam and Mitchell basked in the news that their baby was the center of a real-life Univision soap opera. Until the final development, which came as a total devastation to Cam, Mitchell and us the viewers. The baby’s abuela came out of the delivery room, did a little yelling and dropped the bomb that she was not going to give Cam and Mitchell the baby. Outside the hospital, Cam and Mitchell broke down.
The sadness continued during a stop for gas. As Gloria ran inside to get something for her apparent motion sickness, Cam grew frustrated with the gas pump while Mitchell took off for the highlands. Cam ran after Mitchell, who finally broke down about their most recent failure to adopt another baby. Mitchell was tired of the rejection and the pain, which is certainly understandable -- and the reason why Cam suggested they take a break from the plan. An odd parting shot for the season, seeing Cam and Mitchell both laying down in the grass, staring aimlessly at the sky. Does that mean we won’t be seeing any new baby in season 4? Not without watching it pop out of Gloria, who revealed in the closing moments that her motion sickness was actually an old-fashioned pregnancy memorandum. Hormonal Gloria, here we come! (But, really now, what does Gloria’s good news mean for Cam and Mitchell’s bad news? If you’re hoping that Cam and Mitchell might raise the baby, remember that Gloria’s spawn is Mitchell’s own
step half-brother, so count that option out.)
NEXT: Haley drops a bombshell (hey, where’s Ellis?)