Our lives are full of secrets, many of which we keep from the people we love. But as the Pritchett/Delgado/Tucker/Dunphy clan taught us last night, it's okay to come clean! But only after a reasonable amount (approximately 20 years) of time has passed. That way you can avoid any trouble. There's a statute of limitations on these things.
At family brunch, the group started an unfortunate round of transgressions confessions. Claire admitted that she was the one who left the top down on Jay's convertible, not her mom, whom she'd let take the fall. (She had to air out the cigarette smoke!) Jay didn't make it to Claire and Mitchell's figure skating competition because he was stuck at work a.k.a. drunk at the golf course. And that hole in one that
ACE Jay got? Mitch just got bored and kicked the ball in the hole. But it's totally fine because of the statute of limitations. Well, it was fine for everyone except Jay who hasn't had to pay for lemonade in 20 years thanks to his faux-hole in one.
Meanwhile, Luke and Manny were both unhappy that their titles as the "cute ones" had been usurped by the adorable Lily. The two boys concocted a plan to take her down. They set a super elaborate trap for Lily -- baited with cookies, natch -- to get her to take the blame for making a mess in the kitchen. But the plan went awry when Cameron set off the domino trap instead and injured his back along the way.
Another casualty of Cam's kitchen fall was Beatrice, Lily's My Sweet Companion doll. Beatrice -- who does indeed have a very elaborate backstory -- works with blind dolphins and models. Not to be confused with blind dolphins and blind models. That would just be a travesty because the models wouldn't be able to see how beautiful they are! Thankfully, Beatrice has a medical plan that rivals most insurance coverage available to humans. So off Beatrice went to meet the on-call doctor at the hospital to treat her injuries.
NEXT: Phil learns a shocking truth about Haley...