Before we chat about last night's "Express Christmas," let's take care of some housekeeping business. Your usual recapper extraordinaire, Sandra Gonzalez, is prepping for a much-deserved vacation. Fear not! She'll be back to her usual duties when Modern Family returns, which unfortunately, won't be until after the new year. But let's not dwell on all that sadness, and instead focus on the sheer awesomeness of an early Christmas spent with our favorite TV family.
The Pritchett/Delgado/Dunphy/Tucker clans were lounging around the pool absorbing some Vitamin D, when they discovered they had a miscommunication about their Christmas plans. Not only would Claire and Mitchell's mom not be coming in town for the holiday, but they realized that this was the last day they'd all be together in order to celebrate Christmas. And thus, Mr. Phil Dunphy created the newest holiday, Express Christmas (TM), to be celebrated later that day. (It's Dec. 16, for those of you wishing to celebrate your own Express Christmas later this month. Maybe it will become the next Festivus! Although it certainly needs a catchier name first.)
Anyway, Phil delegated tasks to Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen (Claire, Mitchell, Cam, and Gloria, respectively) and off they went to make Dec. 16 the best Express Christmas ever. Luke and Gloria were tasked with getting the special angel tree-topper from the attic. This inspired a who's-on-first conversation where Gloria could not say "look" without it sounding like "Luke." Finally she heard it, and Luke who'd "been carrying that one around for three years" was relieved.
Meanwhile, Claire and Haley headed out to the local Target to get all the gift shopping done. They were oddly reminiscent of the crazy Target lady who prepares for shopping at Target by working out on the elliptical. But it's true, both Claire and Haley were born for this job. Mostly because they're great shoppers who would do anything their family. And that included Haley trying to use her sexual wiles to get the last ladybug lightbulb -- a gift for Lily -- from the guy who took that last one. That is until she realized he was gay. Naturally, she posed as a Target employee (complete with a red Target shirt) to steal it from him. Mission accomplished. It's worth noting that this is the second job Haley's pretended to have in the course of the series.
NEXT: Alex stands up for Mitchell, and Phil gets stunned (with a gun)