Humor, man hugs, real estate. Next to his wife and kids, Phil Dunphy's biggest passions were the driving forces behind last night's episode (which means we're in for a good night). Like we've witnessed before, attractive males can't seem to keep their hands off Claire—have you seen her off-duty body?—but whether or not they're romantically interested in her is up for debate. Cam and Gloria experience a rift in their glamorous friendship, while Mitchell tries to make it up to his dad on account of all the whining he does, um, always. To the recap!
The Dunphys whipped up all available proteins for their impending dinner guest Tad (Greg Kinnear), a prospective real estate client for Phil, and an all-around cool guy who's found the time to zipline his way around the world thanks to a recent divorce. With Claire present for the meal—nothing says good business partner better than a charming and beautiful wife—Phil fumbled his way through bromantic flirtation ("Might cause fascination"). And then Tad kissed Claire on the lips. Was it the Malbec transported straight from the vineyards of Argentina? Was Claire the woman he had been looking for all along? Typically, this type of act would send husbands into a jealous rage, followed by some testosterone-fueled test to prove one's manhood. But Phil was too busy savoring his handshake that almost became a hug. He'd let Luke live with Walt next door if it helped increase the ole college fund for
Haley Alex. Oh, Dunphy. You're lucky you're cute.
Cam and Mitchell were having the house fumigated, in hope of getting out the stench of failed adoption and replacing it with a calmer scent that would keep Mitch from freaking out all the time. The slight inconvenience meant they'd be shacking up with Jay and Gloria, who were equally enthusiastic at the prospect of house guests. For Gloria, it was a chance to spend 72 straight hours with her BFF Cam, and for Jay, more time to use all of his questionable lawyer jokes on his son Mitchell, the lawyer. Even if Cam's cinematic references are lost on his Colombian jewel, it only legitimizes the need for a movie marathon. In between Top Hat and Shall We Dance, Cam will paint her toenails while Gloria does his hair.
But too much of a good thing can backfire. A natural homemaker, Cam quickly incorporated Grandma Bitzy's racist housekeeper Delilah's recipes into the breakfast menu, and his organizational techniques within Gloria's perfectly fine home. While she may look like Julia Child before plastic surgery, her insecurities and constant yearning for a human Barbie led her to make Lily over into a child-size divorcée on a regimented schedule of liquid lunches with the pool boy. Who's to say Gloria's kitchen needed brightening, and why didn't anyone tell Cam his daughter's hair was broken? Meanwhile, Mitchell squashed his dad's opportunity to meet his favorite local celebrity, radio DJ Booker Bell, because he is a Serious Lawyer who has lunch meetings and no time for drinking OJ with his family. Luckily that legal thing also makes him a good talker with an uncanny ability to smooth things over. Radio hosts just want to be loved, too.
NEXT: Cam and Gloria put Fred and Ginger to shame