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WHAT ABOUT BOB? Raylan (Timothy Olyphant) turns to Constable Bob (Patton Oswalt), who's no Trooper Tom
In another home in Harlan, Arlo’s, a teen boy and girl, Benny and Roz, were trying to get something out of the wall (and stripping copper wire, while they were at). Patton Oswalt’s Constable Bob Sweeney made his grand entrance. Clearly Roz is the brains in that duo because she’s the one who knew to run. Bob called Raylan to tell him about the break-in and interrupted Raylan’s reluctant conversation with Jody, who said he’d killed heroin dealers trying to earn money so his wife would let him see more of his kids. We'd find out later that’s why Raylan’s moonlighting -- he's worried Winona may not think his room above a bar is suitable for visitation. Raylan's car ride with Jody wasn’t Dewey Crowe-level fun -- Jody seems smarter -- but it was enjoyable. Raylan slammed on the breaks to knock Jody’s head on the dashboard. He’d warned him he’d put him in the trunk if he didn’t shut up. And that’s right where he went after Raylan lectured him: “You run into an a—hole in the morning, you ran into an a—hole. You run into a—holes all day, you’re the a—hole.” Raylan wasn’t concerned by Jody’s threat to tear him to pieces if he got out of those cuffs. He’s Raylan, I get it. But what makes me nervous is whoever fronted Jody’s $250,000 bail. If Jody can't afford a home for his kids, then he didn't bail himself out -- and a quarter of a million dollars is an investment.
After we watched Ellen May shoot a furry client dressed as a bear who’d gotten her high on a mystery drug he’d brought in a $1,000,000 bill from the Last Chance Holiness Church -- the craziest scenes happen at Ellen May's -- we returned to Raylan, who was surveying the damage at Arlo’s. Bob has a motion detector on the house that sends him a text when anyone is there -- point for Bob! Clearly, Bob wants Raylan to think he’s tough, which is why Raylan had already twice heard the story about Bob putting a football player who came at him in high school in a coma with a hammer. In Arlo's wall, Raylan found the bag from that 1983 event, and a driver’s license in it for a man named Waldo Truth.
On the walk back to their cars, Bob filled Raylan (and us) in on what it means to be a Constable -- an elected position that pays $2,400 a year and requires you to furnish your own everything, from the uniform to the lights on top of your car. Bob’s fine with people underestimating him. Just ask the kid in a coma, Raylan said. “If he could respond,” Bob cracked. Bob told Raylan to call him if he ever needs to -- he’d grab his go bag and be ready to jump. “You stay frosty,” Bob said. I’m so glad that’s not the last we saw of him. Raylan put the Panamanian diplomatic bag from Arlo's in the trunk with Jody and told him they were making one more stop. Roz and Benny were watching him.
Meanwhile, Madam Ava made her first appearance trying to figure out how Ellen May had shot a man while also reminding us of their history. The man, Arnold, won’t be pressing charges since he’s the judge executive. Ava was mad that Ellen May had a gun at work. Ellen May said it’s because she’s been hit -- and not just by clients. Ha. Ava maintained that her hitting Ellen May once shouldn’t overshadow the fact that Ava had killed Ellen May’s pimp, Delroy, to save her life. Bottom line: Ellen May feels scared, jittery, and low. She looked at that $1,000,000 bill, and you knew she was gonna end up at the church.
Raylan’s stop was at the hardware store, where idol chatter revealed he had no intention of seeing Arlo in jail. Roz was there and accidentally knocked down a bunch of screws. “You want one,” she asked Raylan. Let’s pause and think of how many times a day Raylan Givens gets hit on. He squeezed his way past her so we could admire his broad shoulders (okay, I’m stopping now), and she held him up a little longer by flashing him to ask his opinion on her breasts. Roz flashed Mike, the chatty store owner, too, and scooted out the back. Per Yost, that’s something a couple of writers who visited Harlan between seasons heard happens there -- a pretty young girl distracts someone, Raylan in this case, while someone else steals his car. It’s always nice to be reminded that Raylan isn’t perfect.
NEXT: Ron Eldard arrives