How I Met Your Mother recap: All Aboard the Heartbreak Train

Ted and Barney hop on the drunk train, and Robin makes some big decisions
Ep. 16 | Aired Feb 13, 2012

STRIPPER SURPRISE Barney finds himself drawn to a no-nonsense woman (Becki Newton).

Ron P. Jaffe/CBS

It’s Valentine’s Day in How I Met Your Mother land and the couples were out and about in full swing. Lily and Marshall; Barney and a stripper; Barney and Ted; Robin and Kevin; Robin and Ted…wait, Robin and Ted?

Yes, you read that right. In an episode filled with love, heartbreak, strippers and what felt like a casting call for Jersey Shore, How I Met Your Mother ended with Ted professing his love for Robin. Shout together now: WHY?! We have a lot of ground to cover before we can reach the jaw-dropping conclusion, so let’s get started.

The gang is hanging out at MacClaren’s trying to feel a quick kick from Lily’s belly (cutest pregnant woman ever) while Barney and Ted recount their night out: In an act of pure heroics, Barney acted as Ted’s wingman. While Ted boogied back and forth across the dance floor like a puppy on a leash, Barney chatted up Quinn, played with supreme coolness by Ugly Betty’s Becki Newton.

At first, Quinn seemed primed to fall for Barney’s usual not-so-debonair dating tricks (I admit I almost fell for her dumb blonde act), but ended up pulling a fast one on Barney just as he thought he was closing in on the kill. “Before we go, I should mention my condition,” she coyly revealed. “It’s called ‘I’m not a gullible dumbass disorder.’” BOOM! Yes, Barney, you just got served. There is simply nothing I love more than watching Master Stinson get put in his place.

But that was last night, and now Barney and Ted are looking for ways to fill their Valentine’s Day void. Their solution? Two tickets on the drunk express, also known as the Long Island train where all of the inebriated city partiers gather to head back to their homes at the end of the night. All aboard!

After two rides on the drunk train leave Ted and Barney slapped, spit on and sleep-deprived, the two powwow at Lily and Marshall’s to try and find the key to the drunk train’s success. A few dozen algorithms, equations and formulas later, they have their solution: Get drunk. Of course! How astute. They head back on the railroad of (hopeful) victory, only for Barney to realize he can’t get Quinn off of his mind. The best part? Little does he know that the girl messing with his mojo and occupying his thoughts is a stripper at his favorite strip joint. Disappointingly, we didn’t get to see Barney find out Quinn’s identity in this episode, but my spidey senses tell me the big reveal must be in our near future.

NEXT: Robin's road to heartbreak


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