House recap: Shock Therapy

The good doctor tries to have a near-death experience by shoving a knife into an electrical outlet, plus he continues to use reality-TV techniques to test his prospective ducklings
Ep. 03 | Aired Oct 9, 2007

TORCHER House's ''Survivor'' parody fell flat.

So, this was a shocking episode. And not because House shoved a knife in an electrical outlet to kill himself, but because he told Dr. Wilson that he loved him. Sure, it was right after Wilson went to get our freshly undead House some pills, but the sentiment seemed heartfelt to me at the time.

Until that ''I saw God'' moment, this episode limped along a little bit, to borrow a metaphor from House, who began the first of our 43 minutes by tossing his cane to the fellowship contender he named Cutthroat Bitch and asking her to ''hold my metaphor.''

I wondered if House meant that in the sense that he uses his walking stick as a crutch or to beat people over the head, or if he was alluding to his dangling bits (metaphorically).

Unlike most of the mysteries on this show, this episode's afterlife question remained unresolved. So, ew.comrades, did House see God and then lie to Wilson about it? When House draped the patient in the morgue and said, ''I'm sorry to say I told you so,'' we can assume the nihilist's statement meant he saw no light and no heaven and got no really good endorphin kick. Or was that just another bit of sarcasm?

I thought that continuing with the reality-TV premise was a bit lame and that the writers should have ''aufed'' this concept after last week. House's nicknaming his team contenders was very Flavor of Love, but monikers like ''Fat Twin'' and ''Ridiculously Old Fraud'' weren't clever enough. In general, House's usually excellent bon mots didn't pop out of his mouth this episode. Anyone notice that pills didn't pop into his mouth either? Usually we see him tossing Vicodins like M&Ms at various points, but the only pills in evidence this week were reserved for another unresolved plot point. The paralyzed, nearly dead patient knocked over a plastic cup of yellow caplets, knowing his dog was in the room. Did the patient commit suicide and take his dog with him? Surely he would have alerted the nurse if his pills fell over accidentally. (And I know that dogs supposedly eat everything, but how come I have to shove heartworm meds into piles of bologna to trick every dog I've ever known into swallowing what's good for them?)

Meanwhile, back to our A team, Foreman, Chase, and Cameron. Yes, I am finally missing them and just wish they'd go back to working with House so we could get back to the show I love. I thought I was ready for change, but I'm not. (Especially now that House tells me there is no heaven.) Foreman got canned for behaving like his old boss. Now there's a convenient opening for a revelation about how good he had it. Come back, Foreman!

While sitcoms tend to jump the shark when characters are added (remember the new relatives on The Cosby Show, Family Ties, The Brady Bunch?) dramas do okay (ER saying goodbye to Clooney, NYPD Blue bidding Caruso buh-bye). But my temperature isn't rising for any of the new contenders — they all seem too comical. Even House can't be bothered to learn their names. Number 13 seems like an okay Cameron replacement, but she so closely resembles her predecessor that she could slow our show's heartbeat down

A few more things:

I did enjoy the green blood, but we didn't really find out what caused it, did we?

The song featured during this episode was Alanis Morissette's ''Not As We.'' I know these tunes are used for dramatic effect, but no way is Greg House an Alanis Morissette fan, and so I'm no fan of his ''thought music'' going in a direction he wouldn't.

What do you think?

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