'Hell's Kitchen' recap: Something's Fishy

The inevitable SHUT-TIT DOWN (which tonight was accompanied by an extra GET THE F--- OUT) came when J.-P. brought a piece of raw fish back to the kitchen; ''Bad. Meltdown. Pathetic. Really pathetic'' was how Ramsay summed up service before elimination. Still, the men got all those meals out, and so the women took the fall, with Corey — last week's Simple/Plain/Blond/Boring girl, this week's challenge goat and risotto hero — being named best of the worst. This really turned young Corey on (perhaps she is not complimented enough at home?), and she immediately went all Machiavelli on us. Seriously, it was awesome: No one was coming to her and begging to stay, so she decided to make a game out of it. ''You're gonna take out the best, aren't you?'' asked Ben. ''I amthe best,'' replied Corey. Aw, yeah.

Who'd she put up? Rosann, for messing up the orders? Sharon, for sucking? Nope: ''For strategic reasons,'' she put up Christina, who is clearly a powerhouse, and who Corey felt had underestimated her. And ''for personal reasons,'' she put up Jen, because ''she distracts me from doing my job seriously.'' ''F--- me,'' exclaimed Ramsay. This is like some Survivor s---, I wrote in my notebook.

Think about it: For the most part, this show's history has been dominated by the elimination of the most obvious weak link. Occasionally, they throw someone up there to try and mix it up, but that person rarely goes home. Tonight, Corey stepped up and called out two women who had no business being called out...and I loved it. Of course, as with Survivor, there's always the danger of voting out too many strong players too early, thus decreasing your chance to make it to the merge — it seems the same danger applies here. Still, I appreciated Corey's strategy. So did Chef Ramsay. But here's the difference between me and Gordon, other than the fact that he's a celebrity who spends most of his time on a massive power trip, and I'm a girl who ordered the soy chicken tonight because she thought it would be funny: Chef Ramsay ignored Corey's strategy and kicked Sharon off anyway. ''F---,'' said Corey. BRILLIANT! I wrote in my notebook.

If tonight's ep was any indication, I think we've got one hell of a season ahead of us, bread puddings. Do you agree? Were you grinning as wide as I was when Ramsay went off the grid at elimination, or do you think he should have been forced to play by his own rules and boot one of the nominated women? Did Bobby redeem himself after last week's lameitude by helping Petrozza? Could Ben be any cuter? How do you think Jen and Christina will retaliate against Corey? How would you retaliate? And can I ask that we adopt my No Toolsack Mentioning policy on the comment boards as well? NTsM for short!

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