'Hell's Kitchen' season finale recap: A Potential Winner

Despite it all, at the proverbial end of the day, Ramsay announced — of course — that things were both neck and neck and anyone's game. Back at the dorms, Petrozza and Christina each expressed strong desires to win, coupled with misgivings about whether they'd done enough to accomplish said desires, I started thinking aboutthis genius clip, featuring the only reality-show cliché that had gone unused in the past three or so minutes of TV. But no time to dwell — the big decision was upon us! Using his very best sleepy-time voice, Ramsay told the final cheflings to step up to the doors and, on the count of three, open them to their dreams. But only one would find their dream tonight, and, not at all shockingly, that chefling was...

Christina! Yes! According to Ramsay, it came down to potential and thinking long term! She won every individual challenge and has pretty much been the most rational person on the show all season, but hey! It could have gone either way! As she ran downstairs to hug her mother — whose mouth might be hanging open in shock to this day; highly emotional or accustomed to underestimating her daughter? — Ramsay embraced a shaken Petrozza, then headed downstairs to spray some champagne in Matt's face. Christina let out her feelings with the classic pairing of ''Holy f---ing s---!'' and ''Oh my God, look at my big face!'' while Petrozza took time to comment about how all the ''beautiful people'' he met over the course of this experience were ''priceless.'' (It is too bad Petrozza made that comment too late to be included in the aforelinked friendship clip. I like the guy, and he deserves at least that much of a 16th minute of fame.) One more moment in the big chef's faux office, where he confessed that this season had been like a ''roller coaster'' for him, with the most ''ups and downs'' in HK history, and I found myself almost pitying the guy. Then I remembered what I've been through, and when Ramsay closed with ''It's time for me to get the f--- out of Hell's Kitchen,'' I actually spoke aloud to my empty apartment. ''Likewise, old chap,'' I sighed. ''Oh my God, likewise.''

And so, my darling shrimp tacos, that means you can get the f--- out of here, too — but not before weighing in on tonight's episode. Did C.R. made the right decision? Would you eat in Christina's restaurant? What are the implications of today's C.C. Sabathia-Rich Harden trades? I don't know that I have answers for any of those. Tell ya what: Meet you back here next year, when the continuation is sure to continue again, and we'll sort it out. Meanwhile, be good to each other and yourselves, and don't forget to check the pancetta for fingertips.

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