Moving onto the many patients of the day, Alex discovered his 12-year-old cancer patient made for one heck of a wingman when Jo's new boyfriend stopped by during an examination and asked to steal her away. To retaliate, Alex and his new sidekick paged Jo's new boyfriend from various departments. The poor guy spent the whole day running around the hospital, right up until Richard discovered what Alex was up to. Luckily, Richard had a pretty good sense of humor, and he helped Alex take things to the next level, which involved Jo's new beau attempting to hand Bailey a sample of his urine and, as a result, his life was threatened by the former Nazi. Natch.
Speaking of Bailey, she also spent the episode running around the hospital, but instead of delivering urine samples, she was trying to convince her former interns to support her pitch. Bailey wanted a genome lab, and finding the funding was something that the board members weren't too keen on discussing. For one, they wanted to get back to being doctors. And then there was one tedious detail that affected Bailey's plan: The doctors had already spent all their money on the new ER. At the end of the day, Bailey ended up pitching her idea to Meredith's potentially deformed baby, and it worked. But only after Cristina let her competitive spirit take over.
In her search for an unhealthy heart, Cristina came across Dr. Russell, who clued her in on a super fancy trial that he was working on. After Russell allowed Cristina to perform a cutting-edge surgery, she was hooked. Well, until he asked her for $12 million dollars. It was then that she decided that she was going to use the fact that she was in charge to her advantage. Cristina stripped Russell's funding and called an emergency board meeting, where they agreed to take those funds and help Bailey open her genome lab. And because of the sudden lack of funding in cardio, Cristina promised Russell that she could help with his surgeries and his trial. After all, one Cristina was worth at least four average doctors. Or so she said.
When Meredith wasn't busy worrying about her fetus, she found the time to bond with her patient -- a moving situation that found her treating a school teacher who discovered she had cancer. The only other thing distracting Mer from her many fears? April, who was contemplating breaking up with Matthew, because she really missed going to the "carnival," which some adults apparently use as slang for sex. Basically, April discovered that because she had "ridden the rides" at the carnival, she wanted to keep going. But how could she do that without corrupting Matthew? I know how: Date Jackson! But -- spoiler alert -- she stuck with Matthew, because after a day of waiting, the docs finally got the chance to use the LODOX, and they realized that some things were worth the wait. But will sex with Matthew really be worth the wait? I mean, her first was Jackson Avery. And have you seen him? I'm just sayin'.
NEXT: Callie gets her wish