Grey's Anatomy recap: I Need My Life Back

Cristina drops a truth bomb on Meredith; Richard refuses to leave the hospital
Ep. 05 | Aired Oct 17, 2013

HONEY, PLEASE Dr. Webber rises from his cozy nest.

Richard Cartwright/ABC

Meanwhile, Callie decides she's sick of all of her various wives getting in the way of the partially nude exercise regime she once knew and loved. She inserts herself into a mini TV version of the movie and book My Sister's Keeper, encouraging the sister/"donor baby" of a patient with Aplastic anemia to live her own life and quit feeling obligated to be an organ farm for someone else. Donor Donna ends up offering a kidney to her sister anyway as if pre-destined to do so, but Callie can determine her own fate. She moves out of the Big Love dream house/compound, kicks Arizona out of her apartment ("You're not sick anymore; you're just someone who cheated," she tells Wife #1), and dances like millions of people are watching. In her undies.

Arizona can't remember a damn thing about gala night, but Leah Murphy (an intern at the hospital -- who knew?) fills her in: There'd been no sexy business (phew), but Leah thought she might have made her very first doctor-friend. She'd gone to check on the sloshed Arizona, and the pair ended up having a dance party, eating amazing grilled cheeses, and watching videos of Dr. Shepherd doing a spinal AVM.  Sounds like a real princess tea party to me. They should have invited Zola.

In what seems like a cross-promotion for the new Jackass movie, Stephanie's "giant penis"…er, patient, is a guy who stuck his junk in a hornets' nest because he liked a little pain along with his pleasure. As if his ever-changing story of how he got injured isn't bad enough by the time he gets to "took my pants off and made a honey sandwich," the guy then backtracks on the presence of bees. "Would it make a difference it it were… hornets?" he wondered sheepishly. NOT REALLY, weirdo! You're still the worst!

Steph doesn't have a chance to make a decent medical -- or fully clothed -- first impression on Jackson's mom, Catherine, who saunters in on the sex friends fooling around as she searches for extra pillows for Richard. Budget cuts from the storm and all -- apparently the only place to get pillows anymore is the top bunk in the on-call room. The situation isn't horrifying enough, so Steph and Catherine also work together on Horny Hornet. This gives Catherine the chance to zing the intern with a veritable wasp's nest of campy, condescending stingers. My favorite: "Well, I find men often put their penises in places they don't belong… Suction, dear."

But Steph eventually wins Catherine over by womanning up and intelligently addressing the damage she'd done in a way that makes it clear she understands where Catherine is coming from. Her on-call room hookup must have made everything Catherine did to break down barriers for women of color seem like a whole lot of wasted effort, Steph says. Suddenly the flip switches in Catherine: Someone is speaking her language! Steph quickly shifts the conversation to medical questioning just as Jackson shows up at Joe's. I'm still not into their romance (I just don't see it), but Steph is definitely growing on me after showing some backbone in this scene.

NEXT: Dog Face/Hairball/Jo won't give up on Alex's dad

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