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JUDGE NOT, LEST THEE BE JUDGED Lindsay Lohan decides to start grading high school singing championships. What could go wrong?
Jesse St. James knows when he’s been bested, and before the winner was announced, he found Carmen and, finally making up for the whole throwing-an-egg-in-her-face incident, told her that Rachel was the most talented person he’d ever met. Bar none. He turned to leave, and Carmen told him she did remember him: His own NYADA audition two years prior. He sang “Giants In The Sky” from Into the Woods, and although his diction needed work, she was impressed by his passion. Internet Gods, please allow video of Jesse St. James performing to surface online. Also, is this laying the groundwork for Jesse to inevitably join Rachel at NYADA next season? Because I want it known I would watch every episode of that.
While Jesse was finally being a good guy, the judges deliberated, and they were as random a crew as ever: America’s sweetheart Lindsay Lohan, Perez Hilton and Rex Lee. I know I’m supposed to groan at Lindsay’s Comeback 2012, but A.) I love her. Sorry I’m not sorry and B.) The lines they gave her were pretty funny -- if not a bit sad. “Is there anything better than someone MAKING A COMEBACK!?!?!?” 12-time Teen Choice Award nominee Lohan asked straight to the cameras, explaining why the judges shouldn’t hold New Directions’ 12th place finish last year against them.
With all the top teams gathered onstage, the moment everyone had been waiting for had finally arrived…almost. Ryan Seacrest must have snuck in and told them to drag this announcement out, because first we learned that Unique, deservedly so, got the MVP award that Rachel assumed was hers. As soon as that happened, I felt even more confident that New Directions would definitely take home the trophy for their team effort -- and they did! Waterworks Alert Number Four. They got a homecoming party fit for an American Idol. The slushies in the face were full of streamers, there was champagne (non-alcoholic, let’s assume) and hey! This apparently was just the push Emma needed to have sex with Will. So that happened too! Congratulations all around!
But there was still one more surprise to go -- and I’m not talking about Sue’s still-maybe-happening pregnancy. Principal Figgins prepared a special assembly where Schu would be given the Teacher of the Year award. Exciting stuff, and more than a bit surprising, when you consider Schu quit his job teaching Spanish class a few months ago when he discovered that he wasn’t so good at it. But he sure does love the Glee club! And with a national championship now to their credit, apparently that’s enough.
NEXT: Musical grades and top quotes