Glee season premiere recap: All You Need Is Love

Rachel has a new job, McKinley has a new couple, and Kurt and Blaine are [Spoiler!]
Ep. 01 | Aired Sep 26, 2013

I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND on this ride so I don't get sick.

Adam Rose/Fox

It turns out that in Glee world, all you need is love -- and an episode-ending proposal between Blaine and Kurt that was the most fabulous, over-the-top, musically inclined, perfect marriage question one could hope for. It's going to have the side effect of making every 14-year-old instruct their significant other to watch and take notes -- in between pausing to swoon just a bit. This is a very good thing indeed, because this episode -- and this show -- have a whole lot of sadness stacked against it.

Elephant in the choir room: Cory Monteith is dead, and there was not a single mention of Finn this hour. Instead, the show kicked off with Rachel at a chemistry test audition for Funny Girl on Broadway, where she had a great Barbra Streisand impression but didn’t seem to impress the director. Sensing her Broadway dream was (temporarily) dead, girl launched into a stellar, heartbreaking rendition of “Yesterday” that was impossible to not lend additional significance to, given all the extra baggage the show is now saddled with.

Rachel, needing a job, then joined Santana at the Spotlight Diner (Clearly an homage to Ellen’s Stardust Diner and their singing waitstaff). Everything was fine until the men who have seemingly declined to hire her for Funny Girl show up. It’s a small world! Rachel Berry turns her Rachel Berry-ness up to 12, tells them that she’s great, and then sings, “Hard Days Night” to prove it. She’d love to stick around, but after concluding her performance she grabs Santana and dashes -- there’s a proposal in Lima in the works.

Back at McKinley -- would you believe it? -- Mr. Schuester announced it’s two weeks of the Beatles, which he thinks may be just the thing to get the club to win Nationals two years in a row. A Nationals win is more important than ever, because new principal Sue demands it. But in the revolving game of MASH that is the Glee club, the bigger news is that Kitty and Artie are now dating.

The two go to a carnival (leading into a literal “Drive My (bumper) Car”), and then new mean cheerleader Bree (not like the cheese) shows up and tells Kitty she posted some photos of Artie and Kitty together on Instagram. Bree has been onscreen 10 seconds and she’s already The Worst. Kitty tells Artie she really likes him, but she wants to keep their relationship secret. “What if we go out but we do it on the down low, you know like secretly gay conservatives do,” she asks. Seth and Summer already taught me that this is a bad idea, but Artie clearly doesn’t watch The OC reruns/obviously wants a girlfriend and agrees to go along with it. Bonus: This plot is a way to sneak in an also-literal “You’ve Got To Hide Your Life Away” duet.

NEXT: Kurt and Blaine decide on their future

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