At the career fair, Artie approaches Becky, who is wearing a bee-keeper’s helmet. “Hi, hot stuff. Want to suck face and look at my boobs?” she coos. Artie asks Becky about her post-grad plans. He reveals he’s going to film school in New York (how convenient for Glee season six). Becky says college is for suckers. Artie offers to help Becky do research for handicapable colleges, but Sue promptly wheels Artie Muppet Stephen Hawking away and warns him about taking Becky away from her comfortable life at McKinley.
Artie decides to approach Becky again. “What do you want, a threesome with Kitty?” she offers. He gives her brochures for colleges. “I don’t want to go to college, and I don’t want your stupid pamphlets. Butt out!” she yells, and storms off. Artie can’t let this go, so he sends Becky a text invite to the auditorium for a little message-in-a-song serenade.
Singing “Honesty,” Artie serenades Becky about being truthful with herself and her wish to go to college. Becky takes the song as Artie’s declaration of love (“Band geeks, get lost! Artie is gonna show me his purple mushroom,” she muses, and honestly, who the hell is responsible for writing Becky’s dialogue this season?). Artie knows Becky’s truth, though: “I think you want to go to college, but you’re scared.” Becky confesses that she doesn’t want to be made fun of, but Artie assures her she won’t be. Grade: B- (sorry Artie).
Sue calls Artie to her office. “I went to my pharmacy and took the liberty of purchasing you a good old-fashioned ear douche because you obviously didn’t hear me when I distinctly told you with perfect diction and great clarity to stop meddling in the affairs of one Becky Jackson.” Sue informs Artie that she’s been looking into programs for Becky but doesn’t think she’s ready. Artie plans to take Becky to tour the University of Cincinnati, and Sue, in a tender moment, tells him to ask tough questions. I tear up for, like, a second.
Artie and Becky tour the school and it seems like a great fit (despite the college kid who hits on the 17 year-old). Becky returns to Sue’s office and admits that she wants to go to college: “I never thought to say this. I’ve outgrown these high school bitches.” Sue is sad to lose Becky, but offers to help write her application essay, making a Graydon Carter reference along the way that nobody catches except Tina Brown.
Finally, everything wraps up with the career fair. Sue makes a booth for the arts, because “in the words of civil rights leader Genghis Khan, everyone deserves a shot at their dreams.” Blaine and Sam return, and tell the group (who have all conveniently assembled in the hallway) their plans for New York. Someone says they’re crazy, and Mr. Schue loves it. Loves it enough to launch into song once more. Everyone starts singing “You May Be Right” and they’re all just so wacky and crazy that I kind of love it, even though there’s no point to this performance. But I’ve given up the idea that there will be points. Also, I spot another child in a bee-keeper helmet, so grade: B+. Fin!
[I have to take this last moment to apologize for forgetting Robin Williams on my list of Best Pop Culture Robins from last week’s recap. I don’t know how I could have made such an egregious error. Sorry Robin. But I won’t apologize for leaving off Robin Gibb, because falsetto sort of freaks me out.]