Are you ready, guys? Like, are you REALLY ready? Because Glee is getting Robin Thicke out of its system tonight — and perhaps, if we all really dream and believe and clap our hands together (stay with me, Tink, don't you quit on me), this may mark the last time we'll ever have to hear "Blurred Lines." Ever.
If you survived the Summer of Thicke, then there’s one more trial, and that’s tonight’s episode of Glee, titled “The End of Twerk.” Commercials have touted the performance of “Blurred Lines,” so before we begin, it's worth nothing that Robin Thicke is inarguably pop culture's ninth best Robin, after (in no particular order) Robyn, Robin Roberts, Batman's Robin, “Rockin' Robin,” Real World/Road Rules Robin, Robin Scherbatsky, Robin Hood and my childhood friend named Robin who went to Stanford (Stanford!). Then there’s Robin Thicke, whose “Blurred Lines” was essentially the theme of tonight’s episode: the blurred lines between artistic and distasteful; between being edgy or rebellious; and, in a surprisingly deep plot, between genders.
Let’s start with the goings-on at McKinley (but skip ahead if you want to hear about this week’s installment of Rachel and Kurt’s Kooky Brooklyn Follies and the haircut from hell).
We open on Blaine gratuitously twerking in the choir room, which goes viral after Tina records it. Mr. Schuester says Blaine’s dancing is a revelation and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about (unlike Artie’s vest-shirt combo, which is repulsive). In fact, Mr. Schue decides that the word “twerk” will be this week’s whiteboard word/Glee club assignment/life lesson/motivation for Nationals. “We need to edge up our America’s sweetheart image a bit!” he says, wearing a pair of 1976 Levi’s. So obviously, let’s not take tips on hip-hop from this person.
Jake leads the club in a “twerk-torial,” explaining the origins of the word as Kitty demonstrates the move to her basic bitches (her words, not mine). Suddenly everyone’s shaking and popping and gyrating, except Dumb Ryder who’s weirdly wobbling like he’s skiing down a mountain with poles made of flan. Mr. Schue says Unique’s a natural (because he’s rude like that) and Kitty orders Tina and Ryder to twerk in the back. From the A/V room, Sue watches the twerk in progress, and she’s not pleased.
Sue still has a segment on the local news for some reason, so now we’re at Sue’s Corner. She gets in a reference to Bashar Al-Assad — likely the first time some younger Gleeks will hear the name aside from that one very special episode of Backyardigans — and compares him to “a far more insidious foe: Miley Cyrus.” Sue pledges to end the “genital-flapping dance known as twerking” at McKinley High, and submits a bill to Ohio State legislature to ban it.
Naturally, the Glee clubbers are livid that Sue has banned the dance they’ve been obsessed with for a whole day. Even Mr. Schue’s upset. “She’s deciding what’s acceptable and what’s not, and that’s just not gonna stand,” says the man who suspended a girl for not wearing a bikini last week. “Twerking is about blurring the lines,” he says, then reiterates, “Sue Sylvester wants to draw a line in the sand? Well we’re gonna blur it!”
NEXT: What song are they going to sing!? (Is it “Roar”?)