After their performance, Jake consoles Marley, who wasn’t allowed in the auditorium for the performance because she’s suspended (yet she’s still at school, and in her “California Gurls” dress, so she’s not too suspended). Horny Jake, being adorable, suggests that she come over to watch Mary Poppins. Aww. He just wants to spend time with her and do what she wants to -- WAIT A SECOND. They’re not watching Mary Poppins at all!
Instead, they just make out on Jake’s bed, which Marley seems into, but then he tries to cop a feel and she just about flips out on him. Finally, he confesses that he’s been bummed out about not being able to touch her boobs, and has tried to not pressure her to touch her boobs, and she won’t even consider letting him touch her boobs, even though he’s the most patient and sooo understanding. (Straight boys, ladies and gentlemen.) Marley is pissed, though, and suggests that if he wants it so badly, he can go get it from one of his former ladies-o’-the-evening who gives it up so freely. Cut to: Jake goes back to school and finds Bree, then asks her if they can go someplace private (or at least, someplace private that’s not the quiet, empty dance room they are currently in). Que scandale!
In the choir room, Tina relays the sad news that Throat Explosion will be doing “Applause” at Nationals. Mr. Schuester says there’s a lesson to be learned, though: Just like the New Directions and Throat Explosion, the friendly rivalry between Lady Gaga and Katy Perry inspires both of them to work harder and be bolder and better. (Ohhhhhhhhh.)
The tender moment is ruined when Principal Sue bursts in and suspends everyone for a week for wearing ridiculous Katy Perry outfits (oh, did I mention they’re all wearing ridiculous Katy Perry outfits now?). Sue threatens Mr. Schue, who seems skeptical that she’s actually starting up a feud with Glee club again. But the New Directions won’t have it, and they immediately direct a spirited performance of “Roar” in Sue’s direction…
…and then we’re in the auditorium, where the stage has been decked out in Swiss Family Robinson jungle chic. The boys are dressed as Tarzan, the girls as Jane, and Van Pelt Artie is serving up some major Jumanji realness. In New York, the newly-formed Pamela Lansbury also sings, though they’re decidedly less jungle-y and decidedly more Brooklyn-y. Everything’s great, except Marley arrives…and so does Bree…and they both wave to Jake. Ahhh!
If anyone managed to count the number of times the words "Katy" or "Gaga" were said on tonight's episode, please submit your findings for scientific study.