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I STILL BELIEVE this much hair gel looks good.
In more interesting developments, Rachel isn’t pregnant, but Brody is a prostitute. Talk about a win-lose. Rachel went to the doctor with Santana and discovered the pregnancy test was a false alarm. While Rachel is eager to get back to her life, Santana strongly suggests she take this as a warning sign at the direction her life is going recently and change some things, namely, ending it with Brody. Rachel won’t listen, which is bold, because after last night’s episode, I’m pretty sure no one will ever want to cross Santana again.
When they got back from the doctor, Santana goes right back to a little more snooping, and then confronts Brody at NYADA. “Confronts Brody at NYADA” is code for “performs Paula Abdul hits.” Brody then makes a dangerous mistake by assuming he can take on Santana and her “psychic Mexican third eye.” While Santana is straight-up Abdul-ing, Brody is secretly calling Rachel to get her on his side – and it seems to temporarily work. When Santana got back to the apartment, Kurt and Rachel tell her she must make peace with Brody or move out.
You can guess which option Santana chose: She’s off to live with Lena Dunham, or so it seemed. But in fact, Santana “Don’t Apply Logic to the” Lopez was actually scheming to catch Brody in the act. She went to a hotel and hired him, so that when he came into her room, he couldn’t deny it. But wait! She also had Finn hanging out in the closet. Brody showed up, Santana brought out Finn and then it was on.
Oh My God You Guys -- Finn went ballistic on Brody. The two had an all-out fight. This is what happens, apparently, when letting your feelings out about your choir teacher just allows you to sing some early-era Backstreet Boys. You’ve got a lot of leftover energy! Backstreet Boys don’t dance like *NSYNC! Finn had lost his temporary job and his girlfriend, and doesn’t really know what his long-term next step is (although his conversation with Marley points to him getting a teaching license). He took all of that disappointment and rage out on Brody’s face. “Stay away from my future wife,” he growled. He also kicked a dresser over on the way out because it was looking at him funny.
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