Perhaps because that plotline was so serious, the rest of the episode was completely silly. The key points: Blaine apparently signed a contract to join the Cheerios, and Sue had come to claim her prize. She and Becky told Blaine he has no choice in the matter, but Blaine challenged her to a Rumpelstiltskin-esque singing duel of Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj (nice cross-promoting, Fox!) to save his first-born son soul. The highlight of this whole plot was watching Jane Lynch rap “Super Bass,” complete with a montage of Sue’s Nicki Minaj animated faces. Get it, girl.
Sue Minaj won the battle, so Blaine unfortunately has to join the Cheerios. But – twist! – is this maybe what he wanted all along? He told Sam in the hallway that the plan to sabotage Sue and the Cheerios from the inside was working. Is this show suddenly Homeland? IS BLAINE SECRETLY NICHOLAS BRODY? You heard it here first/last. Welcome to a possible plot for the rest of the season – I just hope an added benefit is that one of the Cheerios tells Blaine to cut back on the hair gel. Seriously, he confused it with wet cement this hour. How much more of a wake-up call do you need?
Elsewhere at McKinley, great news! Ryder met a great girl online and she’s cute and funny and smart and perfect and definitely who she claims to be and not an imposter out to Catfish him. Just kidding! That’s obviously what’s happening, and it’s way more than likely that the girl is actually Kitty (right?). Ryder sends her some sexy pictures, so viewers can rest assured this won’t end well. (It’s like Ryder has never even seen the Lifetime original movie Sexting in Suburbia!)
Ryder had also gotten himself into a bit of an issue with Unique. Ryder isn’t in any position to be critiquing who is and isn’t a “real” girl these days, considering he’s spending all his time online with a “real” prankster. Unique had confronted him about kissing Marley, and then Unique and Ryder sang their feud out by way of Sir Elton John and Madonna. But Ryder was apparently still uncomfortable with Unique being Unique. He came around after his mysterious online dream girl explained “Not Being A Jerk 101” to him. Ryder apologized to Unique, as well as to Marley and Jake. Also, you guys, Marley and Jake are back together! You weren’t concerned? Me neither. Moving on! Everyone makes up and then they all dance in the auditorium with all the Glee clubbers but Brittany. They’re all in this together!
NEXT: Is Rachel pregnant?