In other Lima news, Kitty tried to make nice with Marley, and Marley – despite absolutely no evidence supporting this change of heart – confessed Ryder kissed her on Valentine’s Day. But before Kitty could really Mean Girls that information, Marley also was moved to confess to Jake after he gave his own confession that he had some help with her Valentine’s Day gifts. Jake tried to give her his own gift, which was recreating a scene from her favorite romantic movie:
The Hunger Games Ghost. It was inspired, but unfortunately it had Marley flashing back to a romantic ghost from her past, Ryder. I see what you did there, you sly Glee you.
Unfortunately, Jake also got the feeling there was something (or someone!) going on in the room with them during their pottery intensity; Marley confessed Ryder kissed her. Jake looked like a sad little puppy – for the first time, I felt really bad for him. He’s obviously still quite pissed – he’s Puck’s little brother, after all – and he then stormed out of the art room leaving a devastated Marley in his wake. I can’t wait to see how Kitty inserts herself into the next chapter of this mess, because -- Relationship Status Update -- Kitty's still "dating" Puck. Can’t she please just get hit by a bus a la Mean Girls and we can be done with her?
A Mean Girl I have no interest in being done with is Santana. All during the episode last night, when she was delivering sassy one-liner after sassy one-liner, I realized once again how much I miss her when she’s gone. She’s still staying rent-free with Kurt, Brody and Rachel, but she’s getting tired of her musical theater roommates. They’re all snowed in, and being cooped up with all those people – not to mention Kurt’s boy toy Adam, who was dabbling in impressions in the kitchen -- made Santana demand movie time for some quiet. Be careful what you wish for: “It’s Moulin Rouge, bitches!” Kurt happily declared.
One might have expected the Bushwick apartment to devolve into Sing-Along Central, but instead they watched “Come What May” and Kurt imagined the number as Blaine and himself singing the duet. Sadness! Kurt was crying real tears, which Santana picked up on and immediately called him out. It wasn't allergies: Turns out, Kurt thinks singing that song together is more intimate than sex (which we also got a flashback of during the number). He and Blaine planned to sing the tune at their wedding. It was quite tragic, but ‘shippers will love the performance until their dying day. The real victim here? Adam, who was forced to listen to all of this and wasn't even able to make up an excuse to leave because of SNOWSTORM.
Since Santana discovered her true calling was delivering truth smackdowns, it’s no surprise she also vocalized some thoughts about Brody. My favorite gag of the episode was that there was clearly no love lost between Kurt and Santana, but when Santana started bashing Brody, Kurt was suddenly her BFF. Santana confessed she'd violated everyone’s privacy and searched every inch of the apartment. In Brody’s room she found over a thousand dollars in cash, as well as a pager. She said there was only one reason you would have those two items: drug dealer. (Actually, there are three: Drug dealer, prostitute/escort of some kind, or someone who really bought into Dennis’ business idea on 30 Rock and wanted to make an initial investment. The last one, I concede, is a long shot).
NEXT: Rachel is pregnant!?