Artie tried to make the Glee club happen, performing “Feliz Navidad,” but he got totally shut down. And a life without Glee is a life not worth living, I suppose, for as soon as he faced that brutal rejection by his peers, he woke up back in the nurse’s office, realizing the whole thing was just a dream – and that it was Ok to ask for help. “For better or for worse, this chair is part of me. It’s made me who I am.”
Next up for their holiday interlude were Kurt and Rachel. Rachel was going on a Rosie O’Donnell cruise with her dads for Christmas -- Can’t miss a Jesse Tyler Ferguson lookalike contest! -- so Kurt was going to be all alone in NYC….or was he? Surprise! Burt – and a Christmas tree – showed up in Brooklyn. This should have been pure sweetness, but instead we got another bombshell after Kurt and his Dad took in the Rockettes: Burt had prostate cancer. C’mon, Glee producers! He already had a heart attack. Leave the poor guy alone. All of this was preamble for Burt to give Kurt a speech about keeping those you love close to you, which led to Burt giving Kurt an address to go to for his Christmas Eve present: an ice skating rink. And who should be there waiting with ice skates and a bright red scarf? “Package for Kurt Hummel,” a grinning Blaine declared. It's a regular Teenage Dream.
I know you all are going to harp on how ridiculous this whole thing – and the following musical number – was. You know what? The cheesiness of the two of them skating and singing and having choregraphed dancing going on behind them was my favorite part of the holiday episode. This was the kind of silly over-the-top magical sparkle that was missing from so much of the rest of the hour. Blaine and Kurt then talked, with Blaine assuring Kurt that he would keep an eye on Burt for him. The two seem to have struck a tentative friendship – with Blaine eager to make things work – but at the end of the episode, when Blaine shared that he was planning on applying to NYADA if Kurt was OK with it, it was clear Kurt wasn’t one hundred percent down with this new friendship. Or maybe he just wanted to go back to reading Vogue.
In a simplier Christmas storyline, Jake still couldn't stop punching people, but luckily his half-brother was lurking around McKinley and had a proposition for him: Ride in his side-along car on his motorcycle all the way to California, where Puck was currently working as a screenwriter. The two could spend Hanukkah together singing in the Paramount lot. Which they did. But it soon came out that Puck wasn’t exactly taking meetings – he was cleaning pools, just like he did in Lima, and confessed to Jake that he had no idea what was going on with his life. This Is 19.
The two realized they could have a Christmas that makes The Family Stone seem relaxed if they brought their respective moms (Hi, Aisha Tyler!) together at Breadstix. It was kind of rough and uncomfortable at first, but then Puck gave a toast to his Dad: “An epic ass that did one thing right—he brought us together.” Puck decided to stick around Lima and help be there for his brother. After all, Puck’s science-fiction teen movie can be written anywhere.
NEXT: Brittany and Sam prepare for the end of the world (as we know it)