We learned two important things about Will Schuester on Tuesday night’s Glee: He may not be able to make a friend over the age of 18, but his adolescent fixation sure does make him one romantic fella.
As for the not-so Shyamalan-of-a-twist that wrapped up the episode, let's get to that after addressing something far more important: Dame Helen Mirren.
Snagging the perpetually elegant, agelessly sexy Helen Mirren to voice Becky’s internal thoughts was one of the most charming treats this show has offered in a while.
“You may be wondering why I sound like the Queen of England,” Becky’s Inner Monarch acknowledged to us via voice-over. “It’s simple. In my mind, I can sound like whomever I want. So lay off, haters!” Mirren hasn’t shown this much sass since Caligula! (although to be fair, I missed her in National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets). Digression aside, Becky/The Queen told us the Royal We had their sights set on Artie for boyfriend material. That kid gets so much love! Must be something about those starchy button-up shirts...
In the teacher’s lounge, Coach Beiste revealed that she and that guy Cooter had eloped. (This made me learn you can’t type "Cooter" in our viEWer system. Now I wonder why that would be....) Not up for a temper tantrum, Sue took the news in stride and even offered some good advice to Emma: If she was concerned Will might never propose, why not ask him herself? After all, it’s not the 1950s, even if Emma dresses like it still is (although there's nothing wrong with a little Cleaver chic, I say).
That comment sent Emma off on a musical fantasy sequence to Laura Nyro’s “Wedding Bell Blues” (more on that later) which strangely involved Beiste and Sue as her girl group backup singers. In an additional nod to British Royalty, backup singer Sue wore Princess Beatrice’s Royal Wedding hat, that popular object of derision amongst us commoners.
Since it’s Glee and everyone is either getting together or splitting up, the next scene found Sam trying to convince Mercedes to turn their summer fling into a perennial bond. But even after Samcedes’ adorable homage to Grease’s “Summer Nights,” McKinley’s Queen of Soul wasn’t ready to cut out on her current BF Shane so easily (she needed about an hour and a half and the Power of Roberta Flack to convince her Sam was The One).
Mercedes' devotion to Shane made Sam think that all he needed to replace the hulking jock was a letter jacket, which was his reason for joining the school’s synchronized swimming team... which was the writers’ excuse for putting Chord Overstreet in a swimsuit and showing off those chiseled pecs yet again. But hey, I’m not complaining, even if I did prefer him in the Rocky Horror outfit.
NEXT: NeNe Leakes can act! Plus, we discover Finn's (even more) tragic family history